Jaclyn Smith Believes in Santa in The Night They Saved Christmas

There is no greater ’80s holiday fantasy movie than A Smoky Mountain Christmas (1986), with its savory squirrel stew blend of witchcraft, fairy tales, backwoods orphans, country music stardom and poisoned maybe-lesbian pies. But once you’ve completed your annual viewing of that Dolly Parton classic, you might consider checking out The Night They Saved Christmas (1984), another family-oriented telefilm that will leave you staring at the screen in confusion, murmuring “What the jingle hell is this?”

Nearly as bad as Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, it essentially hinges on whether an oil company will slaughter Santa and his elves (who number in the thousands) for a shot at greater riches. But there’s so much more to it than that, nearly all of it bleak and depressing. The Night They Saved Christmas doesn’t only inspire ’80s nostalgia because of its sophisticated robot toys, parents on the verge of divorce, fashionable winter jumpers and references to Saudi involvement in American oil. It’s also a heartwarming reminder of our constant proximity to ruthless annihilation in the waning years of the Cold War.

After years of following oilman husband Michael (Paul Le Mat and his Just for Men beard) to remote outposts around the globe, Claudia Baldwin (Jaclyn Smith, whose Charlie’s Angels escapades and In the Arms of a Killer we’ve also reviewed) has had enough. Unhappily stationed in the Arctic with their three children, including the behaviorally-challenged C.B. (R.J. Williams), she tells Michael—while casually piloting him home from a job site, so we’re not confused by her aviation skills later in the proceedings—that she’s leaving him and taking the kids back to Los Angeles, news she has withheld from them so as not to spoil Christmas.

The next day, Michael finds an unexpected guest in his office: Ed (Paul Williams, a long way away from Phantom of the Paradise), an elfin North Pole emissary with serious environmental concerns. “Mr. Baldwin, your company has been doing a great deal of dynamiting in the North Pole region recently,” he says politely, before asking him to stop immediately. “Because if you continue, there’s a very good chance you’re going to blow up Santa Claus.” Pointing to a map, he continues, “We’ve already sustained serious damage because of explosions here at Site A. Dynamiting here at Site B would most certainly destroy North Pole City. We’re smack-dab next to it.”

Michael, who is initially convinced Ed’s warnings were an elaborate prank, goes home and laughs about it over dinner with his family. But C.B., recently disciplined for assaulting a classmate who claimed Santa Claus doesn’t exist, is unamused. When Claudia reluctantly clarifies there’s some truth to that statement, he again loses his composure, storming off after shouting “You just ruined everything! I hate you, Mom. I wish you were dead!” An emotionally turbulent child prone to violent rages, Santa seems to be the only thing that doesn’t piss him off. His mood brightens when Ed pays another visit, this time taking Claudia and the kids to North Pole City in the hope they’ll make Michael reconsider Site B’s detonation plans.

There they meet Santa (Art Carney), who isn’t just an ingenious engineer and toymaker but a transportation and logistics expert and amateur geologist who dabbles in fashion design. “You think this whole thing is some kind of hoax, don’t you?” he asks Claudia, who used a candy cane phone to inform Michael of her whereabouts. She isn’t sure what to think, but while the family is there they experience the terror of a mighty quake, the result of more drilling-related explosions. And that isn’t the screenplay’s only foray into politics—Mrs. Claus (June Lockhart in a charming wig) weighs in on gun control, noting “Papa has never given a child a gun. He doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t believe in violence.”

While Santa doesn’t believe in violence, Michael and his demanding boss, Mr. Murdoch (Mason Adams), do. In the oddest and most hilarious of all the very strange subplots you’ll find in The Night They Saved Christmas, the pair become convinced that a business rival named Gaylord is behind the kidnapping of the Baldwin family. After Claudia safely returns with the kids, all of them abuzz with excitement, Murdoch and Michael insist they were drugged with hallucinogens by the corporate saboteur. There’s no such thing as Santa Claus, they explain. It’s far more rational to believe that a diabolical energy baron mixed up in international intrigue narcotized the Baldwins and implanted them with fake memories of the North Pole.

“You were all drugged,” Michael emphasizes to C.B. in wonderfully tone-deaf exasperation as he tucks him into bed. “A bad man by the name of Gaylord drugged all of you and you had some funny dreams. Now get to sleep!” To the children’s abject horror, it will take an additional series of preposterous events to prevent unfathomable carnage at the North Pole. And with Christmas just days away and another massive detonation looming, Santa and his crew (including Dr. Fernando, played by Paul Dale of the William Castle curiosity It’s a Small World) are running out of time.

There are hemorrhoid cream commercials with more emotional depth than The Night They Saved Christmas, which was directed by Jackie Cooper from a screenplay by David Niven Jr. and Jim Moloney. But it takes us back to a simpler time, when parents barely pretended to care about their children’s emotions and the world could end at any moment—and some of us might find that comforting. Charlie’s Angels had given Smith a first-rate education in the art of suspending disbelief, an invaluable tool in this bizarre setting. She and Carney make this semi-watchable (Claudia’s North Pole reaction shots are more moving than those of her children, which isn’t saying much), even as the wooden dialogue occasionally makes you laugh at her delivery. And I was inspired by the way her hair retained its bounce, and her lipstick its moisture, even in the Arctic.

Additional screen caps have been posted on Instagram. You can click here for more of our holiday film reviews, including one of Cheryl Ladd’s “Holiday Baggage” for you “Angels” fans.

Streaming and DVD availability

The Night They Saved Christmas hasn’t gotten a North American DVD release yet, but you can rent or purchase it digitally through Amazon, and it currently streams on Tubi.

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