Sibel Kekilli tries to stop Birol Ünel’s bleeding in Head On

I could take this opportunity to mention that, being a consummate fuddy-duddy, I’ve never understood why people get so excited about ringing in the new year — they do realize that nothing has changed and they’re all still going to die, don’t they? — but instead I’ll just be nice and brief and wish you all a happy New Year and remind you not to drink and drive.

Oh, and none of you plan on wearing ridiculous party hats and holding noisemakers like you’re little kids at a backyard birthday party tonight, do you? You’re adults now; it’s time to worry a little less about being loud and having fun and a little more about nuclear proliferation and global water shortages and Israel’s uncertain future.

My greatest New Year’s Eve to date was spent watching Fatih Akin’s Head On, a Turkish-German movie that makes you want to kill yourself (in the best possible way, of course) for two hours. It leaves you as bruised and battered and emotionally depleted as its lonely, displaced protagonists, and when it’s over you’ll feel more like jamming your hands in your pockets and going for a long walk by yourself than clanging pots and pans and setting off fireworks. I wish my neighbors would watch it tonight; maybe then they wouldn’t be so goddamn annoying at the stroke of midnight.