“For I am nothing macho, missing more. I fashioned you can cross to see problems of sharing a locker room with a girl, but then to talk about sexism … If I want to pee in front of a girl? Not at all. That will be outdated in any case.”

baffling google translation of toni nadal

A bit of Google Translate-assisted wisdom from Toni Nadal, the perennially hat-wearing, leg-crossing, Y-chromosome possessing uncle and coach of Rafael Nadal, reacting to the appointment of Gala León, a uterus-having woman, as the captain of Spain’s male Davis Cup team.

You can read the original Spanish-language article here, whilst I imagine Uncle Toni feverishly reworking “O Captain! My Captain!” to something along these lines:

O Captain! My Captain! our fearful matches played;
The team has weather’d every foe, the prize we sought is won; 
The trophy is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, 
While follow eyes the steady keel, Rafa’s biceps grim and daring:

But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the court my Captain lies,
She’s on her period.