Look what the homosexuals have done to me!

Tag: Rafael Nadal Page 1 of 2

Tennis: 2023 Clay Court Season

“And so we meet again.”

First, a housekeeping note. The French Open begins on May 28th and my posts about that and other miscellany will be at Existential Despair as I test-drive a new hosting company. TV movie reviews and “Golden Girls” content will continue to appear here.

As the Italian Open concludes this weekend without my favorite players, Iga Świątek and Carlos Alcaraz, I can’t help but feel slightly nervous about Roland-Garros, which is just around the corner. On the ATP side, Rafael Nadal’s absence from the draw creates no small amount of intrigue. And the WTA points race is as suspenseful as it’s been in years, with Aryna Sabalenka in striking distance of toppling Świątek in the rankings. Their exciting rivalry heated up this clay court season, with Świątek defending her title at Stuttgart and Sabalenka prevailing in Madrid.

“God, It’s Killing Me”: Federer’s Final Match

You can all decide which of the Big Four are represented here as you please. I think Roger’s Dorothy and Rafa’s Trudy.

The match is over. Federer’s competitive career is over. The way he chose to go out, playing alongside Rafael Nadal, his fiercest rival and close friend—and in a team setting, no less (his European Laver Cup team also included the rest of the ‘Big Four,’ Novak Djokovic and Andy Murray)—was perfect.

People joke about Federer’s egocentrism because he’s so matter-of-fact in discussing his accomplishments. But the enormous respect and remarkable friendship he shares with Nadal, and their abiding belief that no one player is bigger than the sport, is a moving testament to the character of both men.

Nearly a half-hour after the post-match ceremony ended, my heart still feels as though it’s gripped in a vise. I had a hard time on the night of Serena’s retirement, but this was markedly worse for reasons that are impossible to articulate. Few things in my life ever meant as much to me as watching Roger Federer play tennis.

Dixie Carter Sings the Springsteen Songbook

Roger Federer’s final competitive match, a doubles pairing with Rafael Nadal, will be underway shortly at the Laver Cup, as soon as Andy Murray’s clash with Alex de Minaur concludes. I’ll turn up the television’s volume once Federer takes the court, but until then I’m trying to distract myself with music and, while perusing my tablet, landed on Bruce Springsteen.

Today is Springsteen’s 73rd birthday, a shocking number to a kid who grew up in the ’80s and still thinks of him as the energetic young rocker whose tight ass (her words, not mine) my token straight aunt ardently admired. In my younger days I listened more to his earlier work, and even crooned “Rosalita” to a girlfriend who indulged such nonsense despite my inability to carry a tune in a bucket.

As a woman lurching uncertainly toward middle age, I prefer his ’80s output, some of which—like “Brilliant Disguise” and other tracks from Tunnel of Love—is far more devastating to 39-year-old ears than it was to a clueless 20-something. My favorite Springsteen song comes from that decade: “I’m on Fire,” also known as “the creepy one.”

Wimbledon Ends with a Whimper, Not a Bang

“I have a dinner date with Dame Maggie Smith after this.”

My excitement at the start of this year’s unusually controversial Wimbledon carried into the second week. Even without Serena Williams and Iga Świątek, who suffered early-round losses, there were intriguing matches to take in. (There was also the matter of Roger Federer appearing at the Parade of Champions, dressed in formal wear that was winkingly accentuated by white tennis shoes.) But the tournament has culminated in a championship weekend unlike any I can remember: I don’t particularly care about the outcome of either match.

On the women’s side, there’d been a sense of inevitability for the last week or so that this was Elena Rybakina’s for the taking. Wimbledon had banned players representing Russia and Belarus as a result of the Ukrainian invasion, but the ban didn’t take into account that matters of nationality are hopelessly tangled in tennis. Players with the option of playing for multiple countries (and there are many such wanderers) align themselves with whatever nation offers them the greatest support in developing their talent.

Naomi Osaka and men’s semifinalist Cam Norrie are prominent examples of players whose similar decisions greatly boosted their prospects. And now Rybakina’s the global poster girl for this phenomenon. She’s a Russian who circumvented the ban by way of a (rather dubious) affiliation with Kazakhstan established four years ago. Whether you find it laughable, maddening, or both, it’s tennis in a nutshell. (It’s also Russia in a nutshell. Parts of my family came to the US from Imperial Russia, but if you want to be more specific, they were from places like Ukraine.)

Superstition Ain’t the Way

Muriel models my freshly laundered socks.

We’re nearly a week into Wimbledon and I woke up this morning as excited as I was for the start of tournament. On the men’s side there’s a third round meeting between Nick Kyrgios and Stefanos Tsitsipas with blockbuster potential. Nadal’s due to play Lorenzo Sonego, and Jack Sock faces off against Jason Kubler. Sock, who a long-suffering friend can attest is my perennial dark horse pick at every Slam, is up two sets to one as I write this.

On the women’s side, Harmony Tan, conqueror of Serena Williams, dismantled Katie Boulter with such efficiency that the match ended before I was awake (and I’m an early riser!). Coco Gauff takes on her compatriot, Amanda Anisimova, and Qinwen Zheng vs. Elena Rybakina is quite promising. Simona Halep, a personal favorite due to her ethereal movement, will also take the court. (At the peak of her marvelous footwork, her shoes rarely seemed to touch the ground.) She already gave us one of the best moments of the tournament with her emotional sendoff of Kirsten Flipkens; I’d love to see her in the second week here.

Wimbledon 2022 Begins

“My favorite Wimbledon warm-up is Queen’s Club, if you catch my drift.”

Stan Wawrinka’s 2014 Australian Open championship run meant more to me than any tennis victory besides Federer’s 2017 Australian Open triumph. It wasn’t just the thrill of him finally breaking through against Djokovic (who’d beaten him 14 times in a row) in the quarterfinals, or the distinctive sound of his ball strikes, or the lethal beauty of his one-handed backhand. It was Samuel Beckett.

Wawrinka’s now-famous arm tattoo of a Beckett quote read “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” Those were words I needed to hear then. Even now, I think of Beckett, and of Wawrinka’s dedication to failing better, quite often. And I have tried, with mixed results, to fail again, and fail better, myself. I like to imagine I’ll never stop. Wawrinka certainly hasn’t: In an era thoroughly dominated by the Big Three, his Grand Slam singles total stands at an astonishing three.

As I write this, Wawrinka, now 37, is heading into the third set of his first-round Wimbledon match against Italy’s Jannik Sinner. He’s in the twilight of his career, which he, like Andy Murray, is struggling to finish on his own terms after being repeatedly sidelined by injury. (Murray’s another sentimental favorite of mine, someone whose on-court negativity stands in sharp contrast to his off-court decency and honor.) If either man advances to the next round, I will be quite pleased, even though deep runs are unlikely.

“JAAAAA!”

Victory is sweet.

Do I think Casper Ruud actually screamed “JAAAAA!” at Holger Rune in the locker room after their Roland-Garros semifinal clash? No. But did I yell it in my living room after Iga Świątek won her second major title today? Yes.

And then I retrieved from the freezer the same pint of ice cream I’d tossed in the grocery cart during a Ben & Jerry’s sale four weeks earlier. “This is for when Świątek wins the French,” I told my disinterested wife that day. For Wimbledon maybe I’ll mix things up and get some cookie dough ice cream instead.

Tomorrow I hope to celebrate a Coco Gauff win in doubles, and for Rafael Nadal to further extend his lead in Grand Slam singles titles over Novak Djokovic. As a Federer purist whose second-favorite player for many years was Djoker, that’s a strange situation to find oneself in. But Djokovic’s attitude of late has made him difficult to support, and I think there’s a decent chance Nadal retires before the end of the weekend, so let’s make hay while the sun shines.

French Open Highlights and Kasatkina’s Gay Q&A

Mary Carillo: “Je vois la vie en clay.”

Tournament Highlights

What a great French Open this has been so far, scheduling snafus aside. And we still have the women’s semifinals and finals to go, while the men wrap up their remaining quarterfinals (I’m hoping Cilic and Ruud win theirs). Among the highlights:

  • The emotional retirement ceremony of Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, one of my favorite ATP players, at his home tournament.
  • Gille Simon’s magical late-night first-round upset of Pablo Carreño Busta. Simon, who will retire at the end of the season, could barely stand as the fifth set drew to a close but was carried along by a rapturous home crowd while his excited kids watched from the stands.
  • Carlos Alcaraz’s 131 mph overhead bomb that fueled his second-round comeback against Albert Ramos-Viñolas.
  • Nadal’s quarterfinal victory over Djokovic, which wasn’t as close as the fourth-set scoreline might suggest.
  • Daria Kasatkina’s run to the semifinals. She’s a stealthy all-surface threat who is often overlooked by commentators due to her weak serve. She had a favorable draw at Roland Garros this year and made the most of it. (For those of you who found this page by searching for “Kasatkina lesbian,” click this post, scroll down a bit, and we’ll get to that.)
  • The ascendance of both Coco Gauff and Italy’s Martina Trevisan, a journeywoman who is radiant both on the court and in her writing. I found this piece about her recovery from an eating disorder quite moving (here’s an English translation). My wife battled anorexia for a very long time. She, like Trevisan, shares her story widely in hopes of helping others, and it takes a lot of guts to do it. The worst part of a Gauff/Trevisan semi is I’d like them both to win.
  • Iga Świątek continues to not only kick ass but to comport herself exactly as you’d expect from someone whose head is always in a book, whether she’s forgetting her age or experiencing chronic confusion about whether it’s a changeover.
  • Updated to add: Ruud just prevailed over the homophobic assclown Rune, and Rune barely shook Ruud’s hand at the net afterward, prompting Ruud to shake his head at his opponent’s immaturity. My wife, who has heard me complain about Rune before, looked up from her phone to joke “Would’ve been kind of funny if Ruud had said ‘Allez, f*ggot.'” (When Rune got in trouble for using anti-gay slurs, he claimed it was self-directed.)

Weekend Viewing: The Australian Open

Mary Carillo might be missing from ESPN but she lives on gayly in our hearts.

It’s the final weekend of the Australian Open. Iga Świątek, my favorite player in the women’s draw, lost in the semifinals. On the men’s side, my beloved Roger Federer is recovering from another knee surgery and it’s unclear where his career goes from here. His wins Down Under in 2017 and 2018 remain some of my favorite of his career. If I have time, I’ll probably rewatch at least one of those matches and my wife will try not to laugh at me when I inevitably cry.

Fun With Google Translate

“For I am nothing macho, missing more. I fashioned you can cross to see problems of sharing a locker room with a girl, but then to talk about sexism … If I want to pee in front of a girl? Not at all. That will be outdated in any case.”

baffling google translation of toni nadal

A bit of Google Translate-assisted wisdom from Toni Nadal, the perennially hat-wearing, leg-crossing, Y-chromosome possessing uncle and coach of Rafael Nadal, reacting to the appointment of Gala León, a uterus-having woman, as the captain of Spain’s male Davis Cup team.

You can read the original Spanish-language article here, whilst I imagine Uncle Toni feverishly reworking “O Captain! My Captain!” to something along these lines:

O Captain! My Captain! our fearful matches played;
The team has weather’d every foe, the prize we sought is won; 
The trophy is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, 
While follow eyes the steady keel, Rafa’s biceps grim and daring:

But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the court my Captain lies,
She’s on her period.

Page 1 of 2

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén