Kenny Rogers Has a Midlife Crisis in Wild Horses

No nobler a beard graced the small screen throughout the 1980s than that of Kenny Rogers, who stuck with made-for-TV movies (and wood-fired rotisserie chicken) after the box office underperformance of Six Pack, his feature film debut. Lost in the shadow of his popular Gambler series, you will find 1985’s Wild Horses sandwiched between the creatively titled The Gambler: The Adventure Continues and The Gambler: The Legend Continues.

If you’ve ever asked yourself what might’ve happened if The Night They Saved Christmas was produced by Menahem Golan and set in the Wild West with Rogers (or his equine counterpart, a majestic stallion) as Santa Claus, the answer is Wild Horses. Seemingly crafted for an audience of seven-year-old boys, with a little something tossed in for any maternal figures in their lives who might have flung underwear onstage at Wayne Newton concerts of yore, this finds Rogers staring down the barrel of a blue collar midlife crisis, wistful for his glory days as a champion rodeo cowboy.

Rogers’ Matt Cooper is married with three kids and a mind-numbing factory job; he escapes into dreams of horses. He resents taking orders from oily boss Wedge (Ritch Brinkley), a former high school classmate, but as his exhausted wife Ann (Karen Carlson) indirectly points out, he hates taking orders from anyone. “We can’t live like this anymore,” she says after he’s fired for sealing Wedge’s necktie to a 40 lb. sack of sugar beet seed. “You haven’t stayed in a job for over a year since we got married.”

Their relationship on the rocks, he heads off to Wyoming from Texas with eager sidekick Dean (David Andrews) in search of a two-week roundup gig to clear his mind and fill his coffers. Hired by government man Bill Ward (Ben Johnson), who works alongside wealthy rancher Chuck Reese (Richard Farnsworth), he soon finds himself transfixed by an elusive wild stallion who roams the mountains. And Chuck’s daughter Daryl (Pam Dawber of Through Naked Eyes), another roundup participant, sets her sights on Matt.

There is nothing subtle about Wild Horses’ screenplay, which was credited to Roderick Taylor and Dan Vining. When Matt exclaims “That stallion has a heart the size of a wash tub!”, we know we’re meant to think the same of him. Singing sweetly by the campfire and only throwing punches at fellow cowboys who deserve it, he loses the chip on his shoulder when he’s back in the saddle, surrounded by nature. And he faces up to his problems with commitment-dodging in a heart-to-heart with Daryl.

Rogers is more relatable as a would-be family man plagued by self-doubt than as an action hero, but he’s put through his paces here by director Dick Lowry (a frequent Rogers collaborator who also made Meredith Baxter’s Betty Broderick telefilms) when the plot takes a ridiculous turn. Richard Masur, looking more than a little conspicuous in a sea of (presumably) Christian cowboys, turns up as a corrupt government goon looking to siphon horses from the roundup for nefarious purposes. Matt, with help from Dean and Daryl, must thwart his plans and take down his henchman, the villainous cowboy Dick Post (Jack Rader).

The deeper we get into the criminal subplot, the sillier Wild Horses becomes, and every cast member knows it. This will make no difference to dedicated Rogers fans, who are likely to find comfort in every clumsily staged brawl he filmed.

Streaming and DVD availability

Wild Horses is available on a double-feature DVD with Coward of the County. It also streams at Tubi and is available for digital rental or purchase at Amazon.

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Cranky Lesbian

Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.

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