Rivers: “You will respect my authoritah!”

The new Weezer CD comes out today. I am sad about the cover, which is pictured above. I am slightly sad about the first single, “Pork and Beans.” (The buzzsaw guitars are cool, though.) This is all in addition to a profound lingering sadness over the travesty that was Make Believe, of course.

And yet, I can’t help myself. My love for The Blue Album, and especially Pinkerton, is so great, so all-consuming, that I will end up buying The Red Album. The deluxe edition, probably. If you want to line up to smack me or something, go ahead, but I know for a fact that several of you own Spice Girls CDs. Think about that before you pass judgment. And think about Rivers Cuomo moaning “If everyone’s a little queer / Why can’t she be a little straight?” in “Pink Triangle,” his song about a straight man’s unrequited crush on a lesbian. How can you not love him, even in that ridiculous cowboy hat?