Cranky Lesbian

Look what the homosexuals have done to me!

Tag: Gay News Page 3 of 4

Luke Macfarlane Comes Out; World Asks “Who is Luke Macfarlane?”

By

On April 15, 2008

In Outings

“If you see a painted sign at the side of the road…”

Luke Macfarlane, a cute young actor who appears on ABC’s mawkish Brothers & Sisters, came out today in an interview with Canada’s Globe and Mail, in what can only be described as a crushing blow to every straight female fan of Prison Break who has ever posted the words “Wentworth Miller isn’t gay, he just hasn’t found the right girl yet” on an Internet message board. You see, Macfarlane, who was previously linked to Grey’s Anatomy star T.R. Knight, is known to spend time with Miller, and Perez Hilton raised eyebrows last summer by declaring them a romantic item.

Now, if you take the Miller-obsessed IMDb crazies at their word, the two of them are probably just partaking in aggressively heterosexual activities together, like watching Showgirls (for the naked women, not the delicious campiness) and lifting weights (for their health and the natural high they get from exercise, not the sweaty partial male nudity—yes, when I imagine these two lifting weights together, the shirts eventually come off). But me, I’m a romantic, so I prefer to think they’re making sweet, sweet love together and cuddling to Golden Girls reruns while drifting off to sleep.

You can read the interview in its entirety at the Globe and Mail website, but here’s the swoon-worthy part:

Though no secret to his family and close friends, Macfarlane has, until now, been guarded about his personal life as a gay man. Over lunch in Los Angeles, where he lives, he initially insists that he has no concerns about his public revelation—but a few seconds later he is shifting nervously in his chair, and concedes that he is “terrified.”

“I don’t know what will happen professionally … that is the fear, but I guess I can’t really be concerned about what will happen, because it’s my truth.”

Congratulations to Luke on coming out, and may a bit of his integrity rub off on all of those other actors and actresses who are currently “guarded” about their personal lives. You don’t have to tell us who you’re fucking, ladies and gentlemen, just get the hell out of the closet.

And in other news…

Cynthia Nixon was on Good Morning America earlier to talk about surviving breast cancer, and you can see why the Point Foundation saw fit to honor her last week when she talks about her family. During her sit-down interview with Cynthia McFadden, Nixon recalls her partner Christine Marinoni’s reaction to her diagnosis (“She was in a panic. She was just trying to calm herself down any way she could”) and talks about her children’s relationship with Marinoni, saying:

“They love her. They call her Mom. They call me Mommy. My son is very funny. Sometimes he says Mom, and it’s obvious he means both of us or either of us. He just says Mom and whoever answers is fine.”

You might note that McFadden mentions the last time she talked with Nixon about her personal life, things got a little “dicey.” Nixon opted not to reply, “If by ‘dicey’ you mean your line of questioning got a little patronizing,” but that’s just because she’s a class act.

If you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about (and people rarely do), here’s a refresher course: Two years ago, in her quest to overdramatize Nixon’s remarkably matter-of-fact coming out, McFadden conjured images of The Children’s Hour by actually uttering the words, “You know an old friend of mine says if you can live through the thing you think you can’t and survive…” McFadden, who has enjoyed high-profile friendships with the likes of Katharine Hepburn and Liz Smith, should have known better for obvious reasons.

Andy Cohen’s Lesbian Work Out Conspiracy

By

On April 14, 2008

In Uncategorized

Jackie Warner: Personal trainer or Britney Spears backup dancer?

All of Bravo exec Andy Cohen’s straight female friends are just crazy about Bravo’s Work Out star Jackie Warner, the New York Times reported this morning. The Times didn’t do much in the way of independently verifying Cohen’s claims, which include him saying, “I’m from St. Louis. When I go home a lot of times I’m amazed by the suburban married women that are coming up to me and saying, ‘I’m in love with Jackie Warner,'” and trotting out the obligatory married-with-children female friend to pontificate on her girl crush. But let’s be honest — does anyone care?

I know I don’t, but I thought I’d point out the Cohen quote in that half-assed way of mine because I, too, hail from St. Louis, andnone of the married suburbanites I know have ever declared their love or lust for Jackie Warner. In fact, I’d be surprised if more than a couple of them could even tell you who Jackie Warner is. (A majority would probably furrow their brows and ask if she’s related to Kurt.) However, they do think the soft butch KSDK reporter who used to co-host Show Me St. Louis is attractive. If anyone at the Times wants to report on that, I can put you in touch with some people.

The new season of Work Out starts tomorrow, btw. Will Jackie find another heterosexual-with-attention-whore-tendencies employee to make out with while the rest of the gang looks on in horror? Will Peeler still be as bald as my seventh grade algebra teacher? And who are all the people I don’t recognize in this year’s cast photo? There’s a preview available on Bravo’s website that might answer some of these questions; I haven’t bothered to look at it yet because my Tuesday night viewing plans are all about Lars and the Real Girl.

A State of the Cranky Address

By

On March 13, 2008

In Uncategorized

See below for explanation.

All over America, and in parts of Canada and Israel, everyone has been asking: Why have I been so quiet lately? (That’s I as in me, the person writing this, and not I as in them, the people asking it. If they had been quiet lately, they’d probably know why. Normally that clarification would introduce a rambling, incoherent parenthetical aside, but I’m pressed for time and will have to settle for this.)

After all, I’m over my illness and haven’t been incarcerated recently, despite a run-in with my parole officer last week. (Here’s a rambling, incoherent parenthetical aside I do have time for — who knew that running guns to Cuba was a parole violation? Shouldn’t they be happy when rehabilitated criminals show a little entrepreneurial spirit? They’re so big on “get a job, get a job, it’s a condition that you have a job,” but then you get a job and all they do is complain.) The answer is… well, I don’t know.

What has there been to talk about? We all know that Sally Kern is a bigot and Eliot Spitzer likes paying for it. Some stories are so widely commented on that mentioning them seems a complete waste of time. And this blog has never been something I intended to use for much in the way of deeply personal writing, so there will be no rambling late-night posts about exes or life-changing events. Nor do I believe that anyone is interested in reading a catalog of the minutiae of my day-to-day life. (When it comes down to it, even I hardly care about what I had for lunch yesterday or the last CD I bought.)

This thing, this so-called blog, is only meant to be an outlet for the occasional outburst or silly observation, something that lets me write when I want to write and maybe reach a few people who are exhaustively searching the Internet for naked pictures of Ken Berry. (If you think I only wrote that sentence so I can monitor how many people actually search the Internet for naked pictures of Ken Berry, you are absolutely correct.) The simple truth is, I’ve been outburst and observation-free for much of March, though I’ve kept an eye on several news sites hoping to find something inspiring. The results, some of which I’ll share with you now, have been largely disappointing:

Jodie Foster is still in the closet, hiding behind that dress you bought for your cousin’s wedding several years ago and haven’t worn since.

Mandy Moore, who is a much better comic actress than most people give her credit for, may or may not have multiple mommies. The National Enquirer, that bastion of journalistic integrity, is reporting that her mother has taken up with a female tennis player. Since it’s not Gabriela Sabatini, I doubt most of you are interested.

Meredith Vieira, ever the kidder, told attendees of a recent National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association benefit that while she’s not gay herself, she “did spend nine years with the lesbians of The View.” Oh, the hilarity! But wait, Barbara Walters did beard for Roy Cohn. Cue the suspenseful music.

Taylor Dayne, who is promoting a new album (does that mean the crowds at every Pride festival on the face of the earth will hear something besides “Tell It to My Heart” come June?), can’t spell. Or count. And that’s O.K., because she can still sing and tease her hair like nobody’s business.

Openly gay theater critic Nicholas de Jongh has written a play, Plague Over England, about actor John Gielgud’s famous 1953 arrest for some Larry Craig-like behavior. It’s getting good reviews and de Jongh spoke about it, and his own personal life, to The Observer last month.

Photo explanation: It was surprisingly difficult to find a gay-oriented, state of the union-ish photo to accompany this post. It was either use a picture of Katharine Hepburn in State of the Union or Photoshop my face onto George Bush’s body, and the latter option made me feel dirty.

A Story Everyone Should Read

By

On February 24, 2008

In Uncategorized

This is unspeakably sad. Lawrence King, an openly gay 15-year-old eighth-grader in Oxnard, California, was shot in his junior high school’s computer lab earlier this month in what authorities have labeled a hate crime. Two days later, he was taken off life support. Candlelight vigils for King are being held across the country, and yesterday King was remembered in Santa Barbara, where high school student Angelica Hernandez remarked, “I don’t think it was the bullet that killed Lawrence. I don’t think it was the shooter that killed Lawrence. It was the society that’s built and structured in a heterosexual manner. It’s just unfair that I can go to school and have classmates think it’s not an important issue.”

Survey: Britons Lie About Being Gay

By

On January 27, 2008

In Uncategorized

“Me? I just haven’t met the right woman yet.”

The Office for National Statistics, which carried out a poll of 4,000 UK residents, has reported that only one in 100 respondents described themselves as gay. The Office, which acknowledged that some survey takers didn’t understand the question about their sexuality and that researchers even failed to ask it in 15 percent of interviews, called the results “not a reliable estimate” of the gay population. Which should go without saying, shouldn’t it, when you’re talking about the same part of the world that embraced Blue, Boyzone, Samantha Fox, Kylie Minogue, Westlife, Robbie Williams and countless similar acts with such unbridled enthusiasm?

That’s right, Great Britain — or should that be Gay Britain? — we’re on to you. And it’s not just your questionable taste in music that raised a pink flag. It’s your devotion to AbFab and Helen Mirren. Your prurient interest in Cristiano Ronaldo’s sex life and BBC adaptations of Sarah Waters novels. You’re fooling about as many people as Morrissey, you sad wankers. Go on, call yourselves gay. If I could come out while attending high school in the friggin’ Midwest, in a town that has more churches than fast food restaurants, I think you can divulge your orientation to a stranger with a clipboard.

Gay Couples Are Just Like Straight Couples (And the Sky is Blue)

By

On January 23, 2008

In Uncategorized

Ma and Pa Kettle vacationing in Hawaii.

Same-sex couples are just as committed to driving each other insane — oops, scratch that last part, I meant just as committed — as straight couples, two new studies have found. Isn’t it charming and quaint that this is considered news?

Healthy Relationships Are Overrated

By

On January 18, 2008

In Uncategorized

“We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.”

If you visited a gay website — well, a non-pornographic one — this week, you probably read about the recent University of San Diego study that suggests gay relationships are healthier than straight relationships. (In related news, John Travolta and Kelly Preston will celebrate their 17th wedding anniversary this year. Congratulations, you crazy kids!)

As Robert-Jay Green, the executive director of the Rockway Institute, summarized, “It all comes down to greater equality in the relationship. Research shows that lesbian and gay couples have a head start in escaping the traditional gender role divisions that make for power imbalances and dissatisfaction in many heterosexual relationships.”

The findings were similar to those published by John Gottman and Robert Levenson in 2003. At the time, Gottman concluded, “The overall implication of this research is that we have to shake off all of the stereotypes of homosexual relationships and have more respect for them as committed relationships. Gays and lesbians may be more competent at having a mature relationship.”

With the Gottman study — and a mostly heterosexual readership — in mind, Time magazine writer John Cloud wants to remind us that gay couples have problems, too. Problems like “crosscurrents of childhood pain, adult expectation and gay-community pathologies like meth addiction.”

This, I admit, confused me as much as the Claymate phenomenon and the plot of The Big Sleep. I mean, I’m as gay as a Liza Minnelli wedding and my last relationship (if you can call it that) ended not because of crosscurrents of childhood pain and gay-community pathologies like meth addiction, but because of my inability to communicate. And don’t straight people have childhood pain, adult expectations and addiction problems to contend with?

That sentence didn’t just confuse me, it kind of irritated me. Had I been able to scoop my jaw off the floor, the first words out of my mouth would have been, “Oh, please. Like heterosexuals aren’t addicted to meth!” Which, I admit, probably isn’t the greatest or most serious reply to such a loaded statement, but what else is there to say in response to something that sounds so maudlin and pandering? It gets even better, as Cloud reflects on the breakup of his long-term relationship and notes:

And yet if ours had been a straight marriage, I have little doubt we would still be together. We had financial security and supportive families. We almost certainly would have had children. This isn’t regret — fighting my homosexuality would be like shouting against the rain. But while the researchers are certainly right that straight couples have something to learn from gay couples, I think the inverse is true as well.

All of this sappiness and general ridiculousness piqued my interest in John Cloud, so I Googled his name. The first result was a Columbia Journalism Review article called “John Cloud Responds to His Critics.” It was about his 2005 Time cover story on Ann Coulter, which was criticized for more things than I have the time or space to list.

The second result was a TalkLeft post called “John Cloud: Today’s Most Dissed Person in the Blogosphere.” After reading those pages and others, including Cloud’s request for “a moment of pity for moralizers who fall” (the moralizers are Ted Haggard and Larry Craig) and his essay “Put Dumbledore Back in the Closet” (which contains the line, “Some of the best Star Trek fan fiction — and there is so much you couldn’t read it all in a lifetime — involves steamy Kirk-Spock love affairs”), I’m no longer so confused.

Adamo Ruggiero: Even IMDB Posters Knew

By

On January 17, 2008

In Uncategorized

Adamo Ruggiero … Britney Spears fan?

Surely I’m not the only misanthropic homo who makes a beeline for the Internet Movie Database message boards the second an actor comes out of the closet. IMDb users aren’t just a notoriously homophobic and semi-illiterate bunch, they also have the world’s worst-calibrated gaydar this side of Senator Larry Craig’s wife. If you don’t believe me, try reading up on Michelle Rodriguez or Wentworth Miller. (And might I point out that before T.R. Knight came out of the closet, his delusional IMDb fans had him secretly involved with Katherine Heigl? Plus, Neil Patrick Harris can’t be gay. He likes Kate Winslet!)

To celebrate Adamo Ruggiero, who plays Marco on TV’s Degrassi, coming out of the closet, I was going to compile a list of IMDb quotes debating his sexuality. You can imagine my surprise when I found these comments, taken from years-old threads called “He’s Not Gay in Real Life” and “Why Everyone Thinks He’s Gay,” instead:

“I don’t know him personally, but he goes to my highschool and my friends who know him tell me he’s not really gay.”

“reed his profile its sounds a little gay but i dont care if he is gay –i still think hes hott!!!”

“ok he so is not gay in real life, and his profile doesnt sound gay either! How can a pf sound gay??????? hello have some sence.!”

“hey is gay i saw him kiss another guy in my school”

“I doubt that he’s gay. After all, it is ACTING. I could act like a lesbian if I tried, and it wouldn’t mean anything. But that whole shaggy hair look is SOOOO sexy. (From season 2) I’d wanna make him turn straight if he was really gay!!!”

“Adamo’s not really gay?! OH THANK GOD! Even though I still doubt that I have a chance because he’s too much older than me for us to date, I’m soo happy. I had a few doubts because on DeGrassi unscripted he kindof came off as gay with the shoes and the hats. And he does too good a job of acting gay. But again THANK GOD HE’S NOT GAY!”

“he is gay…my friend lives two houses away from him and we hear him listening to Britny Spears and like other girl songs…plus his boyfrind is there almost everyday…he might be bi…but he definately likes men and acts gay when we see him…but im not saying thats a bad thing or anything”

“I listen to Britney Spears and I’m not a lesbian.”

“ok wow…that was the least smart comment ive seen here on these posts. First of all just cause someone listens to Britney and is male doesnt mean hes gay…it means he has poor choice in music..lol..second of all my brother..is gay and listens to Britney. Yes there are many gay males who adore her…But not all do. THIRD OF ALL…for you…girly who made a comment about you listening to Britney Spears and not being a lesbian..I think they made the previous comment based on the fact that he is MALE listening to Britney..Lots of girly girls listen or have listened to Britney..Me? Personally? Hell no..Now…if you are a female and listening to…K.D. Lang or Melissa Etheridge that would make more sense of why someone would think you were a lesbian. NOT that straight people cant listen to them or that ALL lesbians DO listen to them. I AM a lesbian actually and I listen to SOME of Melissas songs but none of K.D. Lang. So..think before you type lol.”

“screw britney and destiny’s child, the real proof lies in his listening to the goddess of queer music: JUDY GARLAND!!”

“i saw him at a gay club called ‘buddies’ last night. he was dancing right beside me and i knew it was him. and then i saw him having a smoke outside with a friend. my guess is that he is gay.”

“If anyone has seen his Degrassi Unscripted you can see that there is something defintely not straight about him. His flamboyant hand movements the fact that he kept saying “And All that Jazz” and his room was done in some kind of pink tone.. And when it showed his cd collection he had the spice girls… Come on… I pretty sure Degrassi Unscripted is supposed to show what actors are like beyond their characters so unless Canadian men like to dance around saying And All that Jazz and listen to the Spice Girls…”

“He’s probably bi because he’s been playing a gay character for 3 years.”

“ok. have you seen his unscripted? his room looks like a twelve year old girls room. he talks gay. i seriously did not think he was gay in real life but geez, he is gayy”

“Adamo’s straight just like Lance Bass is.”

“He is completely gay. I mean come on. Look at his 100% feminine-lookin ass.”

“You are a moron. He is NOT gay!”

“He is gay. My friend’s friend actually dated him for about 5 months last year, and he is a guy.”

It’s official, if a little hard on the eyes (and brain) to scroll through: 15-year-olds have better gaydar than Jodie Foster fans. It indicates social progress, sure, but it was also bittersweet to find so few replies pompously pointing out that not everyone is gay. Maybe that’s the kind of bitchiness that is only learned with age.

The Week in Gay News

By

On January 12, 2008

In In the News

Because posting a photo of Anderson Cooper would have been too easy.

We’ve already heard about Dykes on Bikes, Stephen Fry kicking ass, and lesbian American Gladiators this week, so here are a bunch of other gay stories that were in the news:

Millionaire Gerurdas Gerrit Heijne has been charged with murdering his partner, Frank Cianciosi, in their Perth penthouse.

Wacky pastor Ken Hutcherson is gaining allies in his bizarre fight/shameless publicity stunt against Microsoft, a company he has criticized for their lack of homophobic practices.

The Daily Mail published a characteristically salacious account of lesbian rugby player Elaine Grant’s suicide.

In England, school officials have denied charges that 14-year-old student Belinda Allen’s suicide was motivated by homophobic bullying at the hands of her classmates.

Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul’s history of racism and homophobia finally caught the attention of CNN.

In Brazil, a transgender hairdresser and her partner lost custody of their adopted baby because of a homophobic government official.

A Russian court has declined to press charges against gay rights activists, including Moscow Pride organizer Nicolas Alexeyev, who were detained while protesting against homophobic politicians during a December election.

Ralph Becker, the new mayor of Salt Lake City, Utah, has proposed a domestic partner registry that will be voted on by city council later this month. If Bill Henrickson and his wives really existed, they’d probably be scandalized by this. (With the possible exception of Margene, who wouldn’t mind registering with Ana.)

In Maryland, domestic partnerships have been defined and Republicans aren’t happy. However, it is important to note that most Republicans have been unhappy since Showtime canceled Queer as Folk, thus making it harder for them to get their weekly dose of gay action without having to intercept credit card bills so their wives don’t Google Sean Cody.

In Sydney, Australia, police have been accused of ignoring a rash of anti-gay hate crimes.

Finally, Kevin Spacey hasn’t tried his hand at writing or directing since Beyond the Sea flopped, but I think I’ve found the perfect story for him to option:

A gay man who had sex on the beach with three male prostitutes but was unable to pay was robbed of his cellphone and wallet, it was alleged in the Cape Town magistrate’s court on Thursday.

Court officials battled to keep straight faces as self-confessed prostitutes Reagon Adonis, 23, Steven November and Jamie Lee Davids, both 20, told of their experience with a client, Marius Jacobs.

They pleaded guilty to a charge of robbery, but magistrate Ingrid Freitag changed their pleas to not guilty after hearing their story.

Gay (American) Gladiators? How Shocking!

By

On January 8, 2008

In TV

We’re gay. Gay for bodybuilding.

If by shocking you mean not at all shocking (I mean, check out the way I captioned this photo), and as transparent as Bert’s forbidden love for Ernie.

With that out of the way, the men of American Gladiators (original crispy edition, not new and improved with reduced frightening hair), spoke with Maxim recently about their glory days. Ben Widdicombe of the New York Daily News rehashed their comments about painkillers and steroids over the weekend, saving the best revelation, courtesy of Zap, for last: “Half the team was lesbians at one time. But it was just women with women; there were no gay guys on that show.”

Okay, Zap, if you insist. But I’m pretty sure their spandex occasionally said otherwise during Breakthrough & Conquer.

Page 3 of 4

Previous

Next

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén