We here at Cranky Lesbian, LLC have nothing to say on the subject of Mariah Carey’s sexuality. In fact, we have little to say on the subject of Mariah Carey at all, other than we were recently shocked to learn that the title of her upcoming album has nothing to do with butterflies or rainbows.

We weren’t even going to take time out of our incredibly busy (if by busy you mean we’ve been listening to The Magnetic Fields and playing computer solitaire all day) schedule to mention that the notoriously inaccurate and more-than-occasionally homophobic-sounding gossip site MediaTakeOut is reporting that Mariah Carey and Da Brat were spotted canoodling in L.A. this weekend. Reporteth one of their spies:

I just wanted to tell you guys that Mariah Carey and Da Brat are definitely dating [each other]. They were at [Villa] last night and for almost the whole night Mariah was sitting on Da Brat’s lap. And they were both sharing the same drink – FROM THE SAME GLASS!!!

The way those two were carrying on, I thought they would start kissing right there in front of everyone. BTW Da Brat was looking kinda hot … No Homo.

It’s not that we find it so hard to believe that Carey and Da Brat, who’ve collaborated in the past and are known to be friends, might get their L Word on in private. We know that female sexuality is complex, like a Beach Boys vocal arrangement or doing your taxes with nothing more than a pencil and a calculator.

There are, in fact, only a handful of women on the face of the earth we simply wouldn’t believe lesbian rumors about. (Dr. Laura, Laura Bush, and my grandma come to mind. Well, my paternal grandma. The maternal one’s a bit of a free spirit.) It’s more that we don’t give much credence to reports that contain lines like: “BTW Da Brat was looking kinda hot … No Homo.”