When Cyndi Lauper appeared on the Howard Stern Show last Thursday to promote the upcoming True Colors Tour, she knew what to expect. The singer, after all, has a decades-long history with Stern, a self-professed Lauper fan who admits to getting choked up when he hears her sing “True Colors.” So when Stern’s line of questioning turned, inevitably, to Lauper’s sexual history, she was able to deflect his more intrusive queries with relative ease.
I think you’ll agree that nothing in this exchange, one of many on the topic of Cyndi’s experimental teenage years, rivals the magic of, say, a Tracy Morgan appearance on Stern, but then again, what does?
Howard: Did you ever have lesbianism in your life at all? Did you ever make love to another woman?
Cyndi: Uh… (Laughs) Um…
Howard: So that’s a yes.
Cyndi: Yeah.
Howard: You did.
Robin Quivers: I was gonna say, you can’t think that long on a no…
Cyndi: No, it isn’t that. It’s ’cause I got kids.
Howard: Cyndi — kids, shmids. So what’s wrong with being gay? Nothing wrong. You’re bisexual —
Cyndi: No, no. My sister has been living with her partner for — they raised two kids, two boys together. They’re very — my sister is amazing.
Howard: Is that why you tried lesbianism, Cyndi?
Cyndi: I wouldn’t say that I’m —
Howard: Cyndi, is that why you tried lesbianism, because of your sister? You said, ‘Well, if she’s — ‘
Cyndi: No, no. When I was a teenager, all my friends came out.
Howard: They did?
Cyndi: And then I figured, okay, me too. And then afterwards, it was like, uh, it’s not really my thing. And then I had to tell them I was straight.
Howard: Was it awful? To tell people you were straight?
Cyndi: Well, because they were — they were gonna ditch me. And they did ditch me. And then when my sister came out, I was like, “Well, you’re not ditching me. I don’t care.”
Howard: You’re right, in a sense. I grew up in a black neighborhood and I used to be so angry that I was white, because it wasn’t any fun for me. Everybody else was dating and having a good time and I was the one lone honky. So I would imagine —
Artie Lange: Was it hard to come out that you were white, though?
Howard: Yes. I mean, I didn’t want to accept it.
the howard stern show
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.