I’d planned on simply posting the headline, the picture, and the word “discuss,” but there’s nowhere for you to discuss anything here so that would be kind of stupid. All things considered, the only difference I see between John McCain and Goose is that Meg Ryan, a Barack Obama supporter, cried when Goose went down.
TV Guide‘s Matt Mitovich responds to news of Grey’s Anatomy actress Brooke Smith’s firing by suggesting that ABC, previously recognized by GLAAD as America’s most gay-friendly TV network, isn’t showing equal love to all parts of the LGBT community:
Might have this frank exploration of two women coming to terms with new sexual orientations proven too hot for ABC to handle? Smith saw no such signs. “At work I had no sense of it. And more fans seemed to like it than not,” she tells EW. “I don’t think I’m ever going to know [why this happened].”
The answer may be obvious, if one looks at a pattern of recent story “twists” across ABC. Ugly Betty last season introduced with much fanfare Rebecca Romijn as a post-op transgender; now she’s gone. Right out of the gate, Dirty Sexy Money lathered things up by pairing aspiring politician Patrick with a great transgender love; last week, she walked out of his life. So Grey’s writing out a full-fledged lesbian such as Erica — versus the simply lez-curious Callie — would seem to fit this pattern. Meanwhile, gay males such as Brothers & Sisters‘ Kevin appear to go unpestered… at least for now.
Lesbians almost always get fucked over on TV, when they’re on TV at all, so that part of the story isn’t anything new. But for ABC to snuff out Erica Hahn in the wake of eliminating two transgendered characters — and to apparently de-bisexualize Melissa George’s upcoming role as a Seattle Grace intern at the same time? I think it’s fair to say that’s a bit alarming.
When I last wrote about Grey’s Anatomy and its horribly botched attempt at a lesbian storyline, I ended my lengthy, lengthy (sorry about that) post with this:
There are people who will always be happy with crap, and there are networks that will always be happy to supply it. Will Grey’s Anatomy continue that trend? We’ll know soon enough.
That was a little more than a week ago. Since then, another episode aired. I had planned on publishing something about it later tonight or tomorrow. The thrust of the post, as presented in its opening line, was going to be “This storyline just isn’t going well at all.” I was going to briefly recap what happened in the episode (you can view the Callie and Erica-oriented scenes online) before moving onto this analysis:
From New York, another article for my geeky sister to add to her collection of Rachel Maddow press clippings. My favorite quote comes from Rachel’s partner, photographer Susan Mikula:
They’re both nonchalant about the fact that Maddow is the first openly gay woman to host a prime-time news show.
“We kind of forget we’re gay,” says Mikula. “We live in western Mass and New York and it’s very accommodating. Every once and a while I’ll say, ‘Oh my God, we’re gay.’ ”
“I’ve been out most of my life,” says Maddow. “I don’t feel like I have a choice about it. I look gay.”
I have moments like that myself sometimes, and every time it happens I’m kind of surprised for a minute, and then I’m surprised at my surprise. And then I think to myself, “What the fuck is wrong with you? This isn’t exactly a breaking news bulletin.” It’s not like I ever stop what I’m doing to say, “Holy crap, I’m Jewish!” or “Jesus Christ, I’m a liberal!” It’s only the gay thing that ever slips my mind.
There’s also a lot of Keith Olbermann-y goodness, for those of you who like such things, plus the obligatory rundown of MSNBC behind-the-scenes grudgefest gossip that accompanies articles about so much of its (and CNBC’s) programming. Personally, I’m a little sick of all that “So then Dan was like, Excuse me?! and Keith was like, Oh no he di’n’t” business. It makes the guys at MSNBC sound like “Desperate Housewives” characters.
From the Chicago Sun-Times:
Teens who watch television shows that have a lot of sexual content are more likely to become pregnant — or to get someone pregnant — by the time they turn 20, according to a study in the journal Pediatrics.
Blah, blah, blah, then:
The research was based on a 2001 survey of 2,000 12- to 17-year-olds who were asked how often they watched any of 23 popular TV shows, ranging from cartoons and comedies to adult-themed shows such as Sex and the City.
Follow-up interviews were done years later to see how many of them got pregnant in their teen years or were responsible for a pregnancy.
Teens who watched shows where sex was regularly shown or discussed had two to three times the risk of pregnancy than young people exposed to lower levels of sexual content, the study said.
Hmm. I watched TV shows “where sex was regularly shown or discussed” when I was a teenager, including Sex and the City. Never got pregnant. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “That’s ’cause you’re a giant lesbian. I mean, duh, your last name is Lesbian.”
But you never saw some of the women who came onto me when I was a teenager. I’m pretty sure one or two of them might have gotten me pregnant if given the chance. Had I, as a 16-year-old, gone on even one date with that very persistent 24-year-old retail manager who wanted me to see the inside of her truck (I was always afraid that was some kind of euphemism) and liked to point out that she was old enough to buy alcohol, I bet you anything a third-grader would be calling me ‘Mom’ right now.
You’ll note that no one in the Sun-Times article mentions the fact that these pregnant teenagers, and the guys who knocked them up, came of age in the George W. Bush era of abstinence-only sexual education. It was a golden era to be sure, with the teenage birth rate increasing by 3 percent in 2006 after 15 years of not rising. Which makes me think that it might be George W. Bush and his fellow evangelical nutcases who are responsible for creating this spike in our GDJP (Gross Domestic Juno Product), and not the Sex and the City gang.
Still, just to be sure, when I have kids there’s a very good chance they won’t be allowed to watch anything but I Love Lucy and The Cosby Show. They’ll be the only five-year-olds on the playground who could pick Harpo Marx out of a lineup and think loud patterned sweaters are stylish, but when they make it all the way through high school without baby spew on their graduation gowns they’ll thank me.
The Times takes a look at the voluminous correspondence between everyone’s favorite depressed and drunken lesbian poet, Elizabeth Bishop, and her BFF, everyone’s favorite depressed and drunken non-lesbian poet, Robert Lowell.
Let’s everyone hope that no hacky producers are inspired to make a movie out of this, because you know they’d turn Bishop into a frustrated heterosexual who was desperately in luuurrve with Lowell and privately unhappy her in volatile same-sex relationships — relationships she was unable to walk away from because of the booze, or fears her partner would mentally collapse, or something similarly bleak.
And you know there’s a good chance the filmmakers would include a few pretentious queers looking for a bit of art-house credibility, which would make it even worse. So, on second thought, no one read the new book Words in the Air, which collects their complete correspondence. We wouldn’t want it falling into the wrong hands now, would we?
The only thing missing from this great No on Proposition 8 ad narrated by Samuel L. Jackson is a few well-placed f-bombs. Imagine how majestic it would sound with just the slightest of script revisions:
“It wasn’t that long ago that discrimination was legal in California. Japanese Americans were confined in internment camps. Armenians couldn’t buy a house in the Central Valley. Latinos and African Americans were told who they could and could not marry. It was a sorry time in our history. Today, the sponsors of Prop 8 want to eliminate fundamental rights. We have an obligation to pass along to our children a more tolerant, more decent society. Vote fucking No on Prop fucking 8. It’s unfair and it’s wrong, motherfuckers.”
There is still time to volunteer for and donate to No on Proposition 8. I’ve already forked over my money and harassed other people to do the same with theirs. The Mormon hate machine must be stopped. And if I could single out all of you California homos who are reading this — I’ve examined my Google Analytics and see your San Francisco and West Hollywood asses out there — I hope you’re doing your part. You don’t want the friggin’ Osmonds telling you who you can marry, do you?
Take a look at this lede and tell me if you can guess the rest of the story:
A WOMAN who smashed a glass into a fellow customer’s face at a pub after he allegedly called her a lesbian will learn her fate later this month.
No, no, Michelle Rodriguez didn’t meet up with Perez Hilton somewhere in the UK and exact revenge for all the times he has scrawled “I Heart Pussy” over her picture. And the woman in question wasn’t Valerie Singelton, finally blowing her stack when someone mentioned Joan Armatrading for the twelve hundredth time. This nasty bit of violence was perpetrated by Laura Elizabeth Betton against Mark Joce, a man she’d known for several years and been friendly with until he accused her of meddling in his relationship with his fiancée.
Here is what really happened at the pub that night:
Mr Joce, aged 30, of Llanelli’s Biddulph estate, said he believed Betton had spread rumours that he had been seeing other women behind his fiancee’s back when he had not been.
Trouble flared when he was sitting in The Golfers on April 30 and Betton was nearby with a woman friend.
Questioned by prosecutor Mark Spackman, Mr Joce said that when the two women asked to speak to him, he told them he did not want to speak to them.
He admitted calling Betton a “home-wrecker” but denied describing her as a lesbian.
The glass attack by Betton left him needing eight stitches in a gash to his left temple, he said. It had also left him with a constant twitch.
My question: Are we sure Betton and Joce aren’t both lesbians? ‘Cause that episode has dyke drama written all over it.
Kit Bond, the Missouri Senator who I believe was recently played by Abigail Breslin in Patricia Rozema’s An American Girl movie, gave a rousing speech in Cape Girardeau today urging voters to support John “At Least I Don’t Plaster on the Makeup Like a Trollop, You C*nt” McCain. His greatest quote:
“Just this past week, we saw what Barack Obama said about judges. He said, ‘I’m tired of these judges who want to follow what the Founding Fathers said and the Constitution. I want judges who have a heart, have an empathy for the teenage mom, the minority, the gay, the disabled. We want them to show empathy. We want them to show compassion.'”
Oh no, not empathy and compassion! That’s just plain un-American!
NOTE: This FAQ is from 2008. A newer one can be found here.
The answers are every bit as boring as you ever hoped they’d be. If you think something needs to be added, let me know — but remember, I don’t discuss the time I spent in Vietnam.
Why don’t you accept reader comments?
Sometimes people get a little hot under the collar when you call their favorite celebrities gay or criticize them for being closeted, and I’m not particularly interested in providing them with another platform for their endless bitching — they already make themselves heard all over the Internet, and I kind of wanted a place where I could get away from that. A possible solution would be to use a moderated comment system, but I’m not keen on that idea because who am I to judge what someone should or shouldn’t be allowed to say? I do value your opinions and am happy to address your questions or comments via e-mail (my address is listed in my profile).
How much traffic do you get?
More than an isolated country road and less than a Southern California freeway, if that’s any help.
Are you “The Cranky Lesbian” on other websites?
No, it’s a moniker I only use here. I’m sure there are several of us on the Internet — cranky lesbians are a dime a dozen — but I can only take credit for this blog. (I have to say, I kind of shuddered when I wrote that.)
BTW, since this question apparently derives from there having been a “crankylesbian” on Xanga, I’d like to take this opportunity to clarify the following: I am not unemployed, I do not drink Budweiser, I don’t listen to James Blunt or No Doubt, I still have my gallbladder, and my favorite game is Scrabble. I am a Capricorn, though, so that crankylesbian and I do have something in common.
Any chance of you posting a recent photo?
If you were me and you wrote some of the completely ridiculous things that I write, would you want your image associated with it? You can use your imagination: I’m of the short and slight variety, have dark hair (worn long), hazel eyes, and I have always, from the time I was born, looked sleep-deprived, even when I’m well-rested. Altogether, nothing special. You’d pass me in a bookstore without noticing me, and if you did take notice — if my jacket was on fire or something — you probably wouldn’t say anything because I have an “I hate people and want to be left alone” air about me. It’s one of those things I can’t control, like my devastating charm and rapier wit.
Why are some of your posts so incredibly long?
I wish I knew the answer to that.
Do people really ask why your posts are long?
Only people who know me away from the Internet, but I wanted a fifth question — I don’t like even numbers — and was trying to avoid bringing up the one I’m probably asked most often (which kind of defeats the purpose of having an FAQ, but like Norma Shearer in that Mick LaSalle book, I’m a complicated woman), which is “Are you a writer?”
My inability to compose even the shortest of sentences without breaking every rule of punctuation known to man (and probably a few rules that haven’t been invented yet) should answer that for you. But if it doesn’t: Well, exactly.
Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén