Classy reality TV personality and retired bisexual Abi Titmuss

“You are not bisexual, that is reserved for 15-year-old goths and Abi Titmuss, you stupid lesbian.”

That is from Laura May Coope’s account of her romance with Linzi Symons in this month’s installment of The Observer‘s Ex Files, which has both sides of a failed relationship dissect what went wrong. If I ever have the opportunity to say it to someone, I will do so with glee. And if I didn’t have a monotone, I’d make sure to deliver the line with the haughtiness and mock scorn it so richly deserves.

BTW, Coope’s assessment was correct and Symons now refers to herself as gay.