As the state of California prepares to start issuing marriage licenses to gay couples next week, a piece in today’s New York Times examines “the egalitarian nature” of same-sex relationships.

When asked to comment on whether they think it’s true that same-sex couples “fight more fairly” and are better at dividing household chores than their heterosexual counterparts, my parents got into a vicious argument that started with my father saying “There’s no such thing as a fair fight with your mother,” and continued with my mom snapping, “Your father would have to know what chores are before he tried doing any.”

Realizing that thirty years’ worth of grievances were about to be rehashed in clinical detail for the 3,758th time, I hightailed it out of there without asking any follow-up questions. Good times!