Look what the homosexuals have done to me!

Author: Cranky Lesbian Page 28 of 54

Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.

A Semi-Secret Lesbian in “A Secret”

Julie Depardieu tends to Quentin Dubuis in A Secret

I don’t recommend you seek out Claude Miller’s Holocaust drama A Secret for its lesbian content, which is virtually nil, or for any other reason. The story of François, a young French boy who was born to Jewish parents in the 1940s and spent his childhood convinced he was competing against a “phantom brother,” it’s a handsomely made film that shows little interest in most of its characters (when Ludivine Sagnier hardly registers as a presence in a film, you know something isn’t right) or, ultimately, anything that happened to them. (It also skips between the ’40s and ’50s and the 1980s somewhat hokily; the black and white scenes with Mathieu Amalric as the adult François are nice to look—until they take on the appearance of perfume ads, with matching emotional depth.)

But one of its characters is a lesbian, which I hadn’t seen mentioned in any of the reviews I read prior to renting it, so I thought I’d mention it here for those of you who keep tabs on these things. That character, Louise (played winningly by Julie Depardieu), a massage therapist and long-time friend of François’ family, is in some ways the emotional heart of the film: It is Louise, not his mother, who François runs to for comfort in times of distress, and it is Louise who eventually answers his questions about the past.

Not much is made of her orientation, which is first hinted at when a 7-year-old François asks why she doesn’t have a husband and her response suggests she’d simply have no use for one; in a later scene that serves no purpose other than to illustrate that she does have a personal life, she greets a smiling female acquaintance on the street and leads her into her apartment. (She also, in a minor but noticeable touch, sometimes wears pants while the women around her are in dresses.) Louise’s defining moment comes during a heated exchange with Esther, a character who believes the husband of a woman who was taken away by the Germans is cheating on his absent wife:

Esther: Doesn’t it make you sick?

Louise: I’ve seen worse.

Esther: You say that because you also…

Louise: Go on, say it. I also think Tania’s desirable? It’s true. She’s beautiful and desirable.

Esther: So you excuse them?

Louise: No, I just don’t judge them.

Louise is able to calm Esther; her gentleness and pragmatism has that effect on everyone. She is an interesting supporting character who would have been even more interesting in a better movie.

Homophobic Parents Ruin Lesbian Action for Viewers of Crappy TV Show

Remember earlier this month when I speculated that maybe parents of teens and pre-teens in Australia wouldn’t act like fuckheads about the upcoming lesbian kissage on Home and Away? I was wrong. The Australian is now reporting that “Since the lesbian story-line began two weeks ago, 100,000 viewers have turned off and complaints have been flooding in,” prompting producers to edit the kiss, which was reportedly “no more intimate than any kiss shared by a heterosexual couple” on the show, to make it less explicit.

You’d think concerned parents in Australia would have bigger things to worry about than a simple TV lip-lock, but maybe that’s part of the problem—they’re too busy watching TV and bitching about ‘the gays’ to make sure their kids aren’t depressed or pregnant. (It’s almost like they think they’re Americans…)

UPDATED (04/01/09): For some reason it’s making headlines that the controversy-stirring kiss in question aired on Home and Away in Australia on Tuesday as planned. I’m not quite sure what all the hullabaloo is about, as you’ll recall that the original report never said the kiss was being scrapped altogether, just that “some of the more intimate close-up images of policewoman Charlie Buckton and deckhand Joey Collins sharing a passionate kiss” would be cut. That fits with what network honcho Bevan Lee had to say about the episode; from the Telegraph article linked to above: “Home and Away bosses had decided to air the first, more gentle kiss, without the ‘more lusty’ follow up because it fitted better with the storyline.”

In other words, this isn’t much of a victory, it’s exactly what we were told was going to happen back when this first made news, even if Lee maintains the decision to show a tamer kiss was merely “artistic” in nature.

Marlene Dietrich Wouldn’t Tolerate This!

Gay rights activists in Morocco (one of Marlene Dietrich’s favorite on-screen spots for picking up women — in real life, I think she’d pick ’em up anywhere) are worried that the already limited rights of the country’s gays and lesbians are being threatened anew by the Moroccan government’s purported plans to “preserve citizens’ ethics and defend our society against all irresponsible actions that mar our identity and culture.” Frankly, I read the entire article and still don’t know what the hell’s going on over there (it took a turn for the convoluted around the halfway point), but it’s another thing to get pissed off about, and you can never have enough of those.

I’ve Been Sucked Into a Vortex of Boredom

Mind you, I’m not bored enough to paint a gigantic penis on the roof of anyone’s house, but this has been a very uneventful day so far and we’re not even through the morning yet…

Is Homophobia Killing Straight Men in Jamaica?

This, if you ask me, is quite possibly the WTF to end all WTFs:

CHAIRMAN of the Jamaica Cancer Society, Earl Jarrett, has raised concerns that the fear of being labelled homosexuals is causing some Jamaican men to shy away from doing prostate examinations, resulting in the country maintaining the record of having one of the highest prostate cancer rates in the world.

Or, as Jarrett recently explained to Rotary Club members in New Kingston: “In 2009, there is no reason why Jamaican men should still be of the view that to have a digital rectal examination is an indication of some homosexuality. There is no reason why we should allow the homophobia to get to the stage where it impacts on our health.”

The last time my mom had a mammogram she came home with a mug that bore the name of the center she visited and some kind of inspirational slogan; maybe in Jamaica they could pass out complimentary shirts that say, “I had a digital rectal examination in a non-homosexual kind of way and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.”

You Stay Classy, British Tabloids

British reality TV star Jade Goody died this morning of cervical cancer, as almost everyone with a working Internet connection must know by now, and what does the ever-respectful Sun newspaper have to say about it? I didn’t read the body of the article, but I think you’ll agree that the headline speaks for itself: “Jade Goody loses cancer fight — Mum was a lesbian, Dad was a drug addict burglar who hid guns under her cot.”

USA Today Readers Are Geniuses of Stupidity

Some choice reader comments in response to an innocuous USA Today article about a new Williams Institute study that analyzed poverty rates among “the gays” and found that “children of same-sex parents are twice as likely to live in poverty as those of traditional married couples.”

Lee Badgett, a co-author of the study, points out that gay families are at a financial disadvantage because they’re denied Social Security survivor benefits and are also, in many cases, denied the same health insurance coverage as their married heterosexual counterparts; Robert Rector of the Heritage Foundation — they’re idiots, if you aren’t familiar with them — has already called the study “garbage.” Here’s what anonymous jackasses on the Internet have to say about it:

“Dumb article, same sex couples could not have kids.”

“Really, that’s what makes people poor? Because there is no one or government program to pick up the slack for them? It’s amazing that single people can make it at all, if that is true.”

“Who would have figured that having a father and a mother who honor marital covenants makes any difference with their children. I guess that is why it is called a family.”

“And this is news? USATODAY will print anything to take the spot light off Obama and his failed policys.”

“Actually it is impossible for same sex parents to have children, at least in the conventional sense. To state something like this without at least qualifying it shows poor understanding at best.”

“People can print this story and use it in their bathrooms to wipe with. I usually have respect for USAToday, but this story has no backbone or validity.”

“Poverty is the least of the problems these kids have. Growing up in a homosexual environment is the worst possible scenario for a child. Allowing gays to adopt children is a huge error in judgement by the courts and state legislatures.”

And of course, there’s also a comedian:

“I think they would have more money if they didn’t eat out so much…..I couldn’t resist saying that.”

This is the Kind of Stupidity That Gets Me to Post

For several days I’ve been waiting to read something, anything, that’s worth writing about here, but nothing was happening… until now. ABC is finally, after eight seasons that had to be horrible since even the commercials made for tedious viewing, killing According to Jim. That will free the show’s star, Curly Sue actor Jim Belushi, to spend more time being unfunny around his family, who will likely decide not to renew his contract when it ends in 2012.

Argentina Loves Teen Lesbians, In a Non-Pervy Kind of Way

When I first clicked on a story called “In Argentina, a Camera and a Blog Make a Star” at the New York Times website this morning, I had no idea who it was about. But the second I saw a picture of 17-year-old Agustina Vivero, a popular “flogger” (or photo blogger) from Argentina whose Internet success has earned her modeling gigs, TV offers and promotional appearances, I thought to myself, “Do these teenagers know their ‘star’ is a lesbian?” As it turns out, they do. Writes Alexei Barrionuevo:

Her unlikely popularity is also redefining stereotypes of youth celebrity in Argentina. Ms. Vivero, who is openly gay, describes herself and other floggers as “androgynous” for their unisex clothing. She is comfortable with not being model-thin, eschewing dieting and boasting of her love of junk food and chocolate — a different message in a country where women have high rates of eating disorders.

“We are breaking a lot of barriers,” she said.

That’s pretty kick-ass, is it not?

Unspeakably Depressing Link of the Day

From The Guardian: “Raped and killed for being a lesbian: South Africa ignores ‘corrective’ attacks”

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