Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
From the Radio Netherlands website comes the strangest headline I’ve read all week: Lesbian Women Report Growing Intolerance. No word on whether lesbian men have been experiencing similar problems.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
Earlier this month I wrote that I hoped to post more in the coming weeks. That hasn’t happened just yet, partly because my concentration has been shattered by a woman who still hasn’t figured out that she could easily find someone who is smarter and funnier (but certainly not more attractive) than me to pay attention to, and partly because I think we already knew in our heart of hearts that Britney Spears is fine with gay marriage and that Angie Harmon is an idiot, in addition to being a terrible actress.
The story that finally lured me out of hiding is one you’ve probably already heard: Shirley Tan gets to stay in the U.S. for now, thanks to Sen. Dianne Feinstein. “For now” isn’t good enough, of course — Tan should be here permanently — but it’s better than nothing.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
Canadian lesbian — like there’s any other kind — Ashleigh Pechaluk loved her girlfriend Nicola Puddicombe so much that she practiced writing love letters to her that expressed warm and fuzzy (and trite) sentiments like “Baby, you are my angel…I want to enjoy my life, and the only way I can do that is if you’re by my side.”
But Puddicombe, who made similarly goopy declarations of love in a Valentine’s Day card she gave to Pechaluk three years ago, also had a long-term boyfriend. How, then, could Pechaluk enjoy life with Puddicombe at her side?
Why, by reinforcing every horribly offensive and antiquated lesbian stereotype known to man and murdering Puddicombe’s boyfriend with a $16.49 axe, of course! Pechaluk’s trial for the 2006 killing began this week, with Puddicombe’s soon to follow; Puddicombe stood to collect $250,000 in insurance and pension payouts in the event of her boyfriend’s death. Both women, it should go without saying, deserve to rot in jail.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
I’m not dead, nor was I captured by Somali pirates, despite what the mainstream media has reported. I’ve been busy with various things that keep people busy (like not observing Passover and wondering how the new Fast and the Furious movie made so much money at the box office last weekend), and I will hopefully be less busy this week. Unless you’ve all enjoyed the silence over the last few days and would like me to stay gone for a while, in which case I’d hate to let anyone down.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
If so, do yoga with your dog. Has it really come to this? Are people truly so bored and so eager to spend money on absolute crap that they’re going to turn this into a fad? And don’t dogs have it bad enough as it is, what with having to relieve themselves outdoors year-round and being yelled at to stay off the furniture? Won’t somebody think of the dogs?! They’re plenty flexible already: haven’t you ever noticed how much time they spend licking themselves in hard-to-reach places?
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
In July of last year, a producer for the 8,000-year-old British soap opera Coronation Street told The News of the World, that bastion of journalistic integrity, of plans to add a lesbian character to the show’s cast. Today, News of the World is reporting that the lesbian will be “teen terror Sophie Webster,” who has been on the program since the early ’90s. But wait, there’s more:
Sophie (Brooke Vincent) shatters her new born-again Christian image by dumping her boyfriend to romp with a girl member of her bible study group.
The tearaway stunned parents Sally and Kevin when she told them she was turning over a new leaf by turning to God.
I’ll admit, that made me laugh; if nothing else, it’s bound to make for lighter viewing than For the Bible Tells Me So.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
When you can’t log on to the Internet without reading stories like this and this, and when you can’t turn on a tennis match anymore without seeing Roger Federer lose to an inferior opponent, what is there to be happy about?
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
The story of the two female police officers in Israel who posed undercover as a lesbian couple to help bust 46 drug dealers needs to be made into a movie, right now. The plot will have to be tweaked a little, in typical Hollywood fashion, so the officers slowly find themselves attracted to each other in real life, but you can’t disagree that gay audiences aren’t owed as much after the travesty that was Partners. And I can’t be the only one who thinks this would be the perfect project for Penélope Cruz and Salma Hayek — it would easily draw twice the audience as Bandidas, which means at least four people would see it.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
Have you ever wondered why there are often ads for find-a-sperm-donor services on this, a website that has nothing to do with wanting, having or raising babies? (Not that I have anything against babies. They’re cute and some of them have a weird way of looking like tiny little elderly people that I find amusing, but they also baffle me. In a lot of ways, they’re like women: I have no idea why they’re crying, and they’ve been known to unexpectedly throw up on me.)
It’s a question that’s been weighing on my mind since earlier this afternoon, when I glanced at my post about A Secret to make sure I hadn’t made any glaring typographical mistakes and noticed an advertisement beneath it that said “Find a Sperm Donor Today — Serving Lesbian Couples & Singles.”
I ask you, women and queens who read this, how effective can these ads really be? What are the odds that someone who comes here to read about Daphne is going to glance down at the screen, see that kind of banner, and think to herself “What a great idea! I hadn’t planned on having a baby — I’d only wanted to know if this movie was worth renting—but now I know where my tax refund is going!” Really, if the idea is to target ads to a particular demographic, I think they’d be better off hocking Mommie Dearest DVDs and curling brooms here (yes, Canadian readers, I see you out there), but that’s just a hunch.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
I don’t recommend you seek out Claude Miller’s Holocaust drama A Secret for its lesbian content, which is virtually nil, or for any other reason. The story of François, a young French boy who was born to Jewish parents in the 1940s and spent his childhood convinced he was competing against a “phantom brother,” it’s a handsomely made film that shows little interest in most of its characters (when Ludivine Sagnier hardly registers as a presence in a film, you know something isn’t right) or, ultimately, anything that happened to them. (It also skips between the ’40s and ’50s and the 1980s somewhat hokily; the black and white scenes with Mathieu Amalric as the adult François are nice to look—until they take on the appearance of perfume ads, with matching emotional depth.)
But one of its characters is a lesbian, which I hadn’t seen mentioned in any of the reviews I read prior to renting it, so I thought I’d mention it here for those of you who keep tabs on these things. That character, Louise (played winningly by Julie Depardieu), a massage therapist and long-time friend of François’ family, is in some ways the emotional heart of the film: It is Louise, not his mother, who François runs to for comfort in times of distress, and it is Louise who eventually answers his questions about the past.
Not much is made of her orientation, which is first hinted at when a 7-year-old François asks why she doesn’t have a husband and her response suggests she’d simply have no use for one; in a later scene that serves no purpose other than to illustrate that she does have a personal life, she greets a smiling female acquaintance on the street and leads her into her apartment. (She also, in a minor but noticeable touch, sometimes wears pants while the women around her are in dresses.) Louise’s defining moment comes during a heated exchange with Esther, a character who believes the husband of a woman who was taken away by the Germans is cheating on his absent wife:
Esther: Doesn’t it make you sick?
Louise: I’ve seen worse.
Esther: You say that because you also…
Louise: Go on, say it. I also think Tania’s desirable? It’s true. She’s beautiful and desirable.
Esther: So you excuse them?
Louise: No, I just don’t judge them.
Louise is able to calm Esther; her gentleness and pragmatism has that effect on everyone. She is an interesting supporting character who would have been even more interesting in a better movie.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
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