The Golden Girls: “Transplant” Episode Recap

It’s fair to say The Golden Girls was more a celebration of chosen-family sisterhood than its nuclear-family counterpart. Every last one of the girls had a contentious relationship with a sister, from Dorothy and Gloria sparring over Sophia and Stan, to Sophia’s long-running, nonsensical feud with Angela. (The less said about Angela, the better. Nancy Walker’s so hammy in the role that she belonged in a supermarket deli.)

Rose’s moment came in “Little Sister” (S4E21), when the admittedly annoying Holly (Inga Swenson) paid a visit. “God, I hate this woman!” Rose exclaimed when she arrived. Her enmity toward Holly is hard to forget during “Transplant” (S1E4), which establishes Blanche’s rivalry with younger sister Virginia (Sheree North). The episode begins with Blanche obsessively tidying an already clean house. “God, I wish she wasn’t coming. I just hate her,” she complains to an incredulous Rose.

Rose repeatedly expresses disbelief that anyone could hate their sister, but Blanche swears that Virginia “made me and my big sister Charmaine miserable our entire lives.” They continue to go back-and-forth about whether it’s possible to hate one’s sister.

Rose: I never heard of such a thing.

Blanche: You never heard of anybody hating their sister?

Rose: Never. Maybe it’s Southern.

Blanche: Sleeping with your brothers is Southern.

Their conversation is briefly derailed when Dorothy arrives with a baby she’s watching while his parents are at the hospital. Blanche complains “Now, we cannot have a baby in this house. My sister’s coming.” Dorothy reasonably responds “Does she eat them?” Blanche insists babies make a mess and Dorothy says “In diapers. And unless we use them as placemats, your sister will never know.” As Rose coos gibberish, Sophia jokes “Finally, someone she can talk to!” The baby is allowed to stay and is taken back to Dorothy’s room.

Rose resumes her line of questioning, wondering why Blanche hates Virginia. Her chief crime was stealing Blanche’s limelight. “Because when she was born, I ceased to exist. I never saw my mama and daddy again.” Rose earnestly asks “Where did they go?” Recounting times when Virginia got her in trouble, Blanche intriguingly adds “Once, she even electrocuted me.” What follows is a dramatic Christmas Eve tale, in which Blanche is ultimately blamed by Big Daddy for ruining Baby Jesus’s birthday.

“And that’s not the worst part,” she laments. “That darn electricity straightened my hair. I used to have curly hair.” Rue McClanahan does some terrific physical comedy in this scene, reenacting Blanche’s electrocution. It’s a welcome reprieve from all the sulking and sniping she’s otherwise assigned. By the time Virginia turns up, a feisty Blanche is ready to trade barbs.

Virginia: Oh, Blanche, please. Let’s not do this. Let’s grow up. For God’s sake, we have done this our whole lives long! Let’s call an end to it, OK?

Blanche: Sure, whatever. So… you thinking about getting a facelift? For your—how do I put this delicately—turkey wattle or what?

Rose later observes “Blanche, your sister seemed very nice.” Blanche agrees: “She was nicer than she’s ever been. She was interesting, charming, caring, loving. Just couldn’t have been more wonderful. I just wonder what she wants, the conniving little witch.” Over dinner at a restaurant, Virginia suggests starting a new chapter in their relationship and raises a toast to sisters, but Blanche is unconvinced.

Blanche: That’s very sweet, Virginia. Now, what do you want?

Virginia: What is it with you? You just step on any kind of tender moment.

Blanche: Oh, tender moment, my foot. All my life you’ve taken everything that ever meant anything to me.

After more childish bickering, Virginia reveals she’s dying.

Blanche: That explains it then.

Virginia: What?

Blanche: Why you’re looking so much older than I am.

Rehashing the evening for the girls back home, Blanche says that Virginia needs a kidney. “Why would she need a kidney?” Rose asks. Dorothy replies “To feed the cat, Rose!” The prospect of donation doesn’t sit well with Blanche, who remarks “I mean, it’s not as if she were my daughter. She’s my sister. My sister that I hate.” Sophia takes a different approach: “I wish I could give her my kidneys, let her get up all night!”

“Transplant” is a Golden Girls episode that makes me laugh before it even begins, due to its subject matter. My siblings and I have had discussions about whether we’d donate organs or bone marrow to each other, and one of them flat-out told us we could fend for ourselves; her organs belong to her. (She wasn’t joking. Perhaps she has reconsidered?) Blanche wringing maximum drama from what should be a minor dilemma evokes memories of that silly exchange.

A sample line: “All I know is, girls, I’m in a no-win situation here. I lose a sister or a kidney. Either way, no matter what I do, I’m gonna lose something.” Dorothy rightly points out that living with only one kidney is perfectly doable, but Virginia admits she’s not sure what she’d do if their roles were reversed. “Well, I’m not surprised,” Blanche huffs. “You never even lent me a Kleenex. Besides, I’m a size eight—your kidney wouldn’t fit me. There’s not room in my body for your kidney.” (McClanahan and North seem to be on the verge of real laughter at that.)

It’s all resolved neatly, with Blanche retaining her kidneys and Virginia matching with another donor. By episode’s end, the sisters have grown closer and Blanche has changed her tune, declaring it was Charmaine “who made me and Virginia miserable our entire lives.” The detente doesn’t last; they’re at loggerheads again by Big Daddy’s death in “Ebb Tide” (S5E11). “Ebb Tide” is the last we see of Virginia, but there’s a meandering conversational detour about Sheree North, inspired by this post, that I’ll share on Wednesday.

Introduction: “Thank You for Being a Friend”

Previous Episode: “Rose the Prude” (S1E03)

Next Episode: “The Triangle” (S1E05)

Where to watch

All seven seasons of The Golden Girls are available on DVD. You can also stream it at Hulu and Fubo with subscriptions, or buy it by the season (or episode) on platforms like Amazon and YouTube.

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