As if Rhoda Morgenstern’s divorce from Joe Gerard wasn’t emotionally bruising enough, here Valerie Harper (Goodbye, Supermom) goes again, putting us through the wringer in The Day the Loving Stopped (1981). This telefilm about a 1970s split with ’80s repercussions isn’t as giddily melodramatic as its title suggests, but coed Judy Danner (Dominique Dunne, Valentine Magic on Love Island) sure cries a lot, a trait shared with mother Norma (Harper). Younger sister Debbie (Ally Sheedy) gets so fed up with all the waterworks that she eventually snaps “Just knock it off!” — it was either that or break into “No More Tears (Enough is Enough).”
The family has gathered for Judy’s wedding to Danny Reynolds (James Canning), a persistent classmate who is resolutely untroubled by his betrothed’s ambivalence about marriage and hostility toward her estranged father, Aaron (Dennis Weaver of Cocaine: One Man’s Seduction). Alone together, the sweethearts can’t put groceries in the trunk without pausing to kiss. Alone with her thoughts, or with Debbie, Judy’s a waterlogged mess who isn’t sure she believes in love. “I’ve never seen it last. I don’t know if it does. Don’t you understand?” she asks, increasingly hysterical. We do, but she clarifies: “I don’t want to do to my kids what they did to us.”
Norma and Aaron’s acrimonious divorce is chronicled in flashbacks, from an awkward family trip to the zoo (good luck determining whether or not the Danners were supposed to be happy) to fights over Aaron’s absenteeism at home. He’s a psychiatrist whose young female patients are always in crisis after 8 pm, which substitute teacher Norma finds striking. Naturally, he accuses her of paranoia, a word their daughters earnestly ask them to define. Aaron’s professional malfeasance is never made explicit, but when he acquires a girlfriend immediately after moving out, Judy’s first question is whether she’s a patient.
After the blockbuster success of Kramer vs. Kramer in 1979, the divorce movie floodgates opened, both theatrically and on TV, leading to telefilm offerings like Tom Selleck and Jane Curtin’s Divorce Wars: A Love Story. The Day the Loving Stopped, loosely adapted from Julie Autumn List’s memoir, focuses more on the Danner children than their parents, to mixed effect. Young Judy (Francoise Noel, who resembles Weaver physically and in mannerisms) blames herself for the divorce, since her parents bickered about her ballet lessons; Young Debbie (Stacey Glick) worries that if parents can stop loving each other, they can also stop loving their kids.
Falling asleep in bunk beds to the sound of Norma and Aaron’s nightly invective, the girls resemble tiny cellmates in a domestic prison. Though director Daniel Mann’s imagery is striking, Noel is given more dramatic work than she can handle; she sometimes fails to hold an expression for as long as a scene demands. The casting of Dunne and Sheedy as the adult(ish) siblings might’ve been more interesting had their roles been swapped. Judy’s an unforgiving character who is too emotionally immature to toast a Pop-Tart, much less marry, and there’s not much that Dunne can do with her. But Sheedy, already a scene-stealer the year prior in I Think I’m Having a Baby, might’ve found a way to at least make her weird.
Fortunately, Harper and Weaver give us something to chew on. With help from Mann — a former Hollywood heavyweight who made a splashy debut with Come Back, Little Sheba before helming The Rose Tattoo, I’ll Cry Tomorrow and BUtterfield 8 — they imbue the deteriorating Danner marriage with more pathos than screenwriter Liz Coe (Unlikely Angel) bakes into the script. Most fascinating of all is a birthday scene in which Aaron’s chutzpah leads him to gift Norma an electric carving knife. Her reaction falls short of what Rhoda might’ve done, but it’s scarier to watch Harper silently suppress tears than it would’ve been for her to menace Weaver as if he were a Thanksgiving turkey.
Streaming and DVD availability
The Day the Loving Stopped hasn’t made it to DVD, but you can currently find it on YouTube.
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Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
Lisa
I had no idea Daniel Mann was at the helm for this one. Excellent observations, and we wait until the end for the best line:
“Her reaction falls short of what Rhoda might’ve done, but it’s scarier to watch Harper silently suppress tears than it would’ve been for her to menace Weaver as if he were a Thanksgiving turkey.”
(sounding like Julie Kavner as Brenda Morgenstern) Rhodahhhh save me an ear, wouldjah?
Cranky
Ha! Thanks, Lisa. I’m sure Carlton would’ve gotten in on the action as well.