If you ever wanted to see Betty White scam kids out of cash, go skinny-dipping, get arrested (and then break out of jail), gamble, and exclaim “Oh, poop!” at the sight of a law enforcement enforcer, today’s your lucky day! You can find it all in Annie’s Point, a 2005 Hallmark original movie about a widow’s determination to fulfill her husband’s dying wish.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
You never wake up thinking today’s the day you’ll enroll in a free weeklong trial of a Christian streaming service to watch a Lisa Hartman Black movie. (At least I don’t, but I’m an agnostic Jew.) This morning I thought I’d shred the pile of papers in my office or re-caulk around the basement windows. Then I read a synopsis of Back to You and Me and laughed. Hartman (Valentine Magic on Love Island), a fifty-ish woman in 2005, attending a 20-year high school reunion?! Rue McClanahan’s her estranged mother? This required investigation.
That’s how I came to subscribe to UP Faith & Family, joining via Amazon Prime for the free trial. My wife found this development mildly alarming. Her parents were religious fundamentalists who didn’t allow her to listen to secular music or play video games other than Joshua & the Battle of Jericho as a kid. (Mavis Beacon also taught her to type; her dad misrepresented it to her as a video game.) They rejected most TV shows as unwholesome, with permissible fare including Touched by an Angel. An inspirational streaming service must have triggered flashbacks.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
What a whirlwind of a week it has been. It was only Monday that I first met the Becker-Hix family, who had gathered to quarrel, self-destruct, and reveal the occasional secret in Children of the Bride (1990), all while celebrating their mother’s marriage to a significantly younger man. And it seems like just yesterday (because, in fact, it was) that Baby of the Bride (1991), its first sequel, incensed me by turning that amiable husband into a floppy-haired jerk who threw a 90-minute fit when his wife wouldn’t have an abortion.
To say my hopes weren’t high for the final entry in this made-for-TV trilogy, 1993’s Mother of the Bride, would be an understatement. How surprised I was, then, to find this the most enjoyable installment of all. In the words of Vanessa Williams, “Just when I thought our chance had passed, you go and save the best for last.” That’s right, stars and executive producers Rue McClanahan and Kristy McNichol, that song is dedicated to you.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
When last we met, dear reader, we were enjoying the emotional highs and lows of Children of the Bride (1990), in which Rue McClanahan’s offspring squabble against the backdrop of her wedding to a younger man. Baby of the Bride (1991) picks up shortly thereafter, as Margret (McClanahan) and John Hix (Ted Shackelford) return from their honeymoon, but instantly we see things have changed.
The camera lingers on a recreation of the wedding photo from Children. Patrick Duffy has been replaced by his Dallas castmate Shackelford. Dennis, the son who can’t keep his pants zipped, is now played by John Wesley Shipp in place of the more lighthearted Jack Coleman. Their faces are curiously free from bruises, reminding us that the centerpiece of the first film was a kooky brawl the night before the wedding that left a mark on several characters.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
While I’m stuck on the couch for the next couple weeks, having been told to avoid the Omicron surge while immunosuppressed, the timing seems right to dedicate myself to the study of one of the holiest trilogies in cinematic history: Rue McClanahan’s made-for-TV Bride series.
This is where it all began, folks, in 1990, with Children of the Bride. The credits, including “Special Guest Star Patrick Duffy” and “Music by Yanni,” hint at something memorable. Things begin promisingly, with Kristy McNichol dressed as a nun, and of course I’m here with a screen cap for those of you who are into that sort of thing. And who’s that over there, once again not acting too homosexual? Why, it’s Dynasty’s second Steven Carrington! They are but two of McClanahan’s many kids, one more troubled than the next.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
Like most self-respecting gay folks, I’ve watched The Golden Girls in its entirety more times than I can count. It was comfort food in our household in the earliest months of this year’s lockdown, as it has been before. My wife and I turned to it again recently, following the death of a loved one from COVID-19. This week, a search for Golden Girls-adjacent streaming content yielded an interesting find: Bea Arthur in My First Love. It’s currently available for free on Amazon Prime and Tubi. Non-members can digitally rent or purchase on Amazon for a small fee.
This 1988 TV movie stars Arthur as Jean Miller, a widowed driving instructor and traffic school teacher from the Bronx. Jean spends her evenings watching the videotaped last will and testament of her husband, who died nine months earlier. At the urging of her best friend, Ruth (Barbara Barrie), she sorts through mementos of her marriage. (Here we should note that Barrie’s hair is an unmistakable nod to Rue McClanahan.) That’s when Ruth spots a bundle of letters from Sam Morrissey, Jean’s high school sweetheart. Some, she observes, were exchanged even after Jean was married.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén