“We’re voting Versace.”

Does this mean the beloved hack screenwriter doesn’t support Cristal and Nomi’s right to marry? The news, while not surprising (Eszterhas contributed to McCain’s campaign in 2000), is almost as disillusioning as the failure of film critics to recognize Jade as one of the towering achievements in 1995 cinema, alongside Dead Man Walking, Leaving Las Vegas and Kieslowski’s Trois Couleurs: Rouge. Or something.

And before someone emails me to point out that McCain once referred to a constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage as “unnecessary” and “un-Republican,” let me remind you that he happily supported banning gay marriage in his home state of Arizona the very next year. In short, he is more ethically challenged than your average Eszterhas character. They make a fine pair.