Marlo Thomas and Alison Sweeney in A Magical Christmas Facelift Village.
There’s a mother-daughter horror movie tucked within A Magical Christmas Village (2022), cloaked by spruce and tinsel. But until Hallmark develops a line of greeting cards and snow globes commemorating intergenerational trauma, it must remain suppressed. In its absence we’re left with another holiday romance between a hardworking single parent and a peripatetic professional, one that again culminates, as is often the case, in a public display of affection cheered by townspeople that seem to voyeuristically assemble specifically for that purpose. (That Brian De Palma hasn’t directed a Hallmark film is one of the great tragedies of his career.)
The players here are Summer Ashby (Alison Sweeney), a small-town architect, and civil engineer Ryan Scott (Luke Macfarlane of A Shoe Addict’s Christmas), whose job takes him around the country. She’s remodeling a city-owned building when he arrives in search of storage space for toy drive donations. It’s an odd request (who wants stuffed animals covered in sawdust?) until you realize her general contractor’s duties primarily consist of moving Christmas trees and adjusting speakers that play seasonal music. Their awkward introduction gives way to instant attraction and the usual ritualized Hallmark bonding over shared values.
Luke Macfarlane and Candace Cameron Bure in A Shoe Addict’s Christmas.
It seems like only yesterday that I sexually harassed Luke Macfarlane on this very site, but it was in fact almost 15 years ago. How time flies! Since then, Macfarlane has continued to work steadily as an actor despite fears that coming out would hinder his career. His heartthrob status is reflected not only in his popularity among Hallmark viewers but in his recent high-profile gig as Billy Eichner’s leading man in Bros (now streaming on Peacock or Amazon), which billed itself as a landmark gay film but may ultimately be remembered for a sanctimonious publicity strategy that was unpersuasive to theatergoers.
I respect Macfarlane for coming out when he did and was disappointed for him that Bros was upstaged by its own hype. Since I’m reviewing holiday telefilms at the moment, I decided to look into his Hallmark catalogue and quickly hit upon A Shoe Addict’s Christmas (2018). It stuck out for several reasons, including Jean Smart’s third billing in the cast and its ridiculous title. But what really commanded my attention was the identity of his love interest. Macfarlane was paired with… Candace Cameron Bure (No One Would Tell). Bure needs no introduction to gay (and gay-friendly) audiences, so I’ll assume we’re on the same page about why this seemed worth investigating. Let’s reluctantly bypass the “Which one’s the shoe addict?” jokes and get down to business.
“If you see a painted sign at the side of the road…”
Luke Macfarlane, a cute young actor who appears on ABC’s mawkish Brothers & Sisters, came out today in an interview with Canada’s Globe and Mail, in what can only be described as a crushing blow to every straight female fan of Prison Break who has ever posted the words “Wentworth Miller isn’t gay, he just hasn’t found the right girl yet” on an Internet message board. You see, Macfarlane, who was previously linked to Grey’s Anatomy star T.R. Knight, is known to spend time with Miller, and Perez Hilton raised eyebrows last summer by declaring them a romantic item.
Now, if you take the Miller-obsessed IMDb crazies at their word, the two of them are probably just partaking in aggressively heterosexual activities together, like watching Showgirls (for the naked women, not the delicious campiness) and lifting weights (for their health and the natural high they get from exercise, not the sweaty partial male nudity—yes, when I imagine these two lifting weights together, the shirts eventually come off). But me, I’m a romantic, so I prefer to think they’re making sweet, sweet love together and cuddling to Golden Girls reruns while drifting off to sleep.
You can read the interview in its entirety at the Globe and Mail website, but here’s the swoon-worthy part:
Though no secret to his family and close friends, Macfarlane has, until now, been guarded about his personal life as a gay man. Over lunch in Los Angeles, where he lives, he initially insists that he has no concerns about his public revelation—but a few seconds later he is shifting nervously in his chair, and concedes that he is “terrified.”
“I don’t know what will happen professionally … that is the fear, but I guess I can’t really be concerned about what will happen, because it’s my truth.”
Congratulations to Luke on coming out, and may a bit of his integrity rub off on all of those other actors and actresses who are currently “guarded” about their personal lives. You don’t have to tell us who you’re fucking, ladies and gentlemen, just get the hell out of the closet.
And in other news…
Cynthia Nixon was on Good Morning America earlier to talk about surviving breast cancer, and you can see why the Point Foundation saw fit to honor her last week when she talks about her family. During her sit-down interview with Cynthia McFadden, Nixon recalls her partner Christine Marinoni’s reaction to her diagnosis (“She was in a panic. She was just trying to calm herself down any way she could”) and talks about her children’s relationship with Marinoni, saying:
“They love her. They call her Mom. They call me Mommy. My son is very funny. Sometimes he says Mom, and it’s obvious he means both of us or either of us. He just says Mom and whoever answers is fine.”
You might note that McFadden mentions the last time she talked with Nixon about her personal life, things got a little “dicey.” Nixon opted not to reply, “If by ‘dicey’ you mean your line of questioning got a little patronizing,” but that’s just because she’s a class act.
If you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about (and people rarely do), here’s a refresher course: Two years ago, in her quest to overdramatize Nixon’s remarkably matter-of-fact coming out, McFadden conjured images of The Children’s Hour by actually uttering the words, “You know an old friend of mine says if you can live through the thing you think you can’t and survive…” McFadden, who has enjoyed high-profile friendships with the likes of Katharine Hepburn and Liz Smith, should have known better for obvious reasons.
