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Tag: Joan Van Ark

Murder is Genetic (and Campy) in Tainted Blood

Raquel Welch butches it up in Tainted Blood.

In Arsenic and Old Lace, Cary Grant’s character famously quips “You see, insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.” Tainted Blood, a 1993 made-for-TV thriller starring the tiniest bits of Raquel Welch and Joan Van Ark’s original faces, takes that premise and stigmatizes it within an inch of its life—it would make you cry uncle, if you weren’t afraid that he, too, would show up and go on a killing spree.

Welch, inexpressive as ever in a series of drably colored power suits, plays Elizabeth Hayes, a bestselling author of books about “the breakdown of the American family” and “prostitute spies in Washington, D.C.” We meet her as she crashes a funeral in Oklahoma, where high school athlete Brian O’Connor (John Thomson) shot his parents and then himself in a crime that left their small town reeling. Her instincts for tabloid journalism are rewarded when Brian’s grieving aunt (Molly McClure) reveals her adopted nephew was born in a psychiatric hospital.

Bea Arthur Revisits the Past in My First Love

Bea Arthur takes a look back in My First Love.

Like most self-respecting gay folks, I’ve watched The Golden Girls in its entirety more times than I can count. It was comfort food in our household in the earliest months of this year’s lockdown, as it has been before. My wife and I turned to it again recently, following the death of a loved one from COVID-19. This week, a search for Golden Girls-adjacent streaming content yielded an interesting find: Bea Arthur in My First Love. It’s currently available for free on Amazon Prime and Tubi. Non-members can digitally rent or purchase on Amazon for a small fee.

A wife in mourning

This 1988 TV movie stars Arthur as Jean Miller, a widowed driving instructor and traffic school teacher from the Bronx. Jean spends her evenings watching the videotaped last will and testament of her husband, who died nine months earlier. At the urging of her best friend, Ruth (Barbara Barrie), she sorts through mementos of her marriage. (Here we should note that Barrie’s hair is an unmistakable nod to Rue McClanahan.) That’s when Ruth spots a bundle of letters from Sam Morrissey, Jean’s high school sweetheart. Some, she observes, were exchanged even after Jean was married.

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