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Tag: Herb Edelman

Have I Got a Christmas for You: A Very ’70s Hallmark Take on Jewish-Christian Relations

Herb Edelman and Don Chastain pray in Have I Got a Christmas for You.

On the count of three, readers, let us sing in unison: “We wish you a Jewish Christmas, we wish you a Jewish Christmas. We wish you a Jewish Christmas and a goyish New Year.”

That’s all I could think of at the start of Hallmark’s unusual 1977 holiday television presentation, Have I Got a Christmas for You, which opens with Milton Berle tossing a few bucks to a bell ringer dressed as Santa Claus. Directly approaching the camera afterward, he begins his narration: “As you may have guessed, our story has to do with Christmas. Which, in itself, is not exactly unusual this time of the year. Except for one thing—it began some weeks ago in Temple Beth Shalom, at a board of trustees meeting.”

By then I was already nervous, I’ll confess, and half-expected a cut to an assembly of shadowy money lenders, even though Uncle Miltie grew up as Mendel Berlinger and was unlikely to lead us astray. “I was convinced it would end in disaster,” he admits, as we join a contentious meeting already in progress, with Sydney Weinberg (Jack Carter) making an unusual proposal: That the synagogue perform “a gesture of goodwill and thanks to our Christian neighbors” by covering for essential workers on Christmas Eve, as an Italian coworker did for him ahead of Yom Kippur.

The Golden Girls: “Guess Who’s Coming to the Wedding?” Episode Recap

Bea Arthur, Betty White and Rue McClanahan in a scene from Guess Who's Coming to the Wedding?
The Golden Girls often tackled tough social issues, like cheese ball theft.

Dorothy’s legendary animus toward ex-husband Stanley Zbornak, the subject of “Guess Who’s Coming to the Wedding?” (S1E02), was first established in The Golden Girls’ pilot episode, “The Engagement.” After describing their shotgun wedding to Rose, she bitterly detailed the dissolution of their 38-year marriage, and how he left her “for a stewardess that he met on a business trip to Hawaii.”

DOROTHY: It was her first flight. They said ‘On arrival, give the passengers a lei.’ She got confused, he got lucky, and they now live on Maui. Oh, it’s really wonderful. A 65-year-old man with gout learning to windsurf. I hope he trips on his thongs and falls into a volcano.

Let’s pause here to engage in the time-honored tradition of puzzling over a Dorothy/Stan timeline that never made sense. The elder Zbornaks were roughly the same age. Their first child was conceived when Dorothy was in high school. If they were in their mid-sixties at the start of the series, their children Kate and Michael would’ve been nearly 50. (That would also complicate Sophia’s age, which was 80 in the pilot.) A shotgun wedding over 38 years ago would put their eldest at 38 years old, plus the length of their parents’ estrangement. Instead, Kate and brother Michael are in their mid-to-late twenties circa their first appearances, and Dorothy’s said to be in her early sixties during season seven.

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