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Tag: Farrah Fawcett

Criminal Behavior: Farrah Fawcett Solves Crimes, Minus Charlie

Farrah Fawcett in Criminal Behavior.

Charlie’s Angels disbanded long before 1992, but that year found two of the Townsend Agency’s finest still solving murders in TV movies: Jaclyn Smith in In the Arms of a Killer, a police procedural that wanted to be more hardboiled than it was, and Farrah Fawcett in Criminal Behavior. The superior performance and film belong to Fawcett, whose breezy mystery is as edgy as it is convoluted.

In a rueful opening voiceover, her Jessie Lee Stubbs divulges “I was nine years old when I began to hope criminal behavior didn’t run in the family genes.” (Raquel Welch later tackled the same subject in a rather more salacious manner in Tainted Blood.) Born to a stickup artist father and madam mother, and raised alongside a drug-dealing brother, Jessie works as a public defender, a position that nurtures her bone-deep distrust of the police.

Charlie’s Angels: Unshackling “Angels in Chains”

Alas, Helen Stewart ain’t in charge here.

“Angels in Chains” isn’t just the most iconic episode of Charlie’s Angels, it’s a Matryoshka doll of sexploitation. And this time the perv-in-chief isn’t even that scoundrel, serial sexual harasser Charlie. It’s us. Nearly 50 years after it first airedand even if you don’t consider yourself particularly lasciviousyou’ll spend the first 11 minutes holding your breath, waiting for the Angels to finally land behind bars.

The case is straightforward enough: Christine Hunter (Lauren Tewis) hires Charlie to infiltrate Pine Parish Prison Farm, where her sister Elizabeth (Terry Green) disappeared. The Parish has a reputation as a place where comely young women are baselessly arrested, only to never be seen or heard from again. But without evidence of wrongdoing, the governor won’t devote resources to searching for Elizabeth.

This early part of the episode lacks Charlie’s usual ribald comments, leaving us to ponder why Sabrina’s dressed as a clownish lesbian pimp. (Kelly’s in enormous wedge heels, the type Tom Cruise might’ve worn to the Maverick premiere.) “I’ve already arranged for you three to go to prison,” Charlie cheerfully announces. Jill seems less bothered by the assignment than the others.

Pervy Things Charlie Said to His Angels: Part 2

The Angels fight crime but tolerate sexual harassment in the workplace.

In the summer of 2014, for reasons far too stupid to recount here, I decided to watch every episode of Charlie’s Angels. My goal was to meticulously catalog the disgusting things Charlie said to his Angels. Unbeknownst to me, my future wife was lurking just around the corner. After meeting her, I tabled that ambitious project in favor of slightly more respectable work.

Now I’m picking up where I left off, and you’re invited to join along. Here you can find my original coverage of the pilot episode and “Hellride,” the first episode of season one. With the exception of the infamous “Angels in Chains,” I’ll try to do future installments in multi-episode batches to keep this from becoming the In Search of Lost Time of sexually exploitative television.

Pervy Shit Charlie Said to His Angels: Part 1

The Angels fight crime but tolerate sexual harassment in the workplace.

Recently, for reasons best left between me and the God of your choice (Bea Arthur works for me), I made a major life decision to watch all five seasons of Charlie’s Angels in its entirety. 

My familiarity with Angels was so scant that I had few expectations, but one thing I wasn’t prepared for was the grossness of Charlie himself. Okay, sure, the show’s reputation for having an “LOL, boners” sensibility preceded it (everyone’s heard of “jiggle TV”), but who would expect a speakerphone to be pervy?

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