Look what the homosexuals have done to me!

Tag: Charlie’s Angels

Cheryl Ladd’s Oddball Dancing with Danger

Saving the last dance for Cheryl Ladd is a dangerous proposition.

How or why Dancing with Danger was made is a mystery lost to time, but the answer might be found in its love scene. Before we get to that, let’s reacquaint ourselves with this 1994 USA Network telefilm. Cheryl Ladd stars as taxi dancer Mary Dannon, whose various disguises (all-black ensembles, berets, large sunglasses) counterproductively raise her profile.

Mary is already as conspicuous as any Guess Who? character in the opening scene, when she witnesses a street slaying in Atlantic City. She then moves cross-country to the Pacific Northwest, where trouble follows. She lands a job at the Star Brite, punching a time card before and after each dance. Her profession, popular in the ’20s and ’30s, was moribund by the ’50s and ’60s. Virtually no taxi dancers existed in the US by the ’90s, but this isn’t a movie concerned with realism.

Pervy Things Charlie Said to His Angels: Part 2

The Angels fight crime but tolerate sexual harassment in the workplace.

In the summer of 2014, for reasons far too stupid to recount here, I decided to watch every episode of Charlie’s Angels. My goal was to meticulously catalog the disgusting things Charlie said to his Angels. Unbeknownst to me, my future wife was lurking just around the corner. After meeting her, I tabled that ambitious project in favor of slightly more respectable work.

Now I’m picking up where I left off, and you’re invited to join along. Here you can find my original coverage of the pilot episode and “Hellride,” the first episode of season one. With the exception of the infamous “Angels in Chains,” I’ll try to do future installments in multi-episode batches to keep this from becoming the In Search of Lost Time of sexually exploitative television.

RIP, Bo Hopkins

Most obituaries for actor Bo Hopkins, dead at 84, will mention American Graffiti, The Wild Bunch and his baffling Dynasty arc as Matthew Blaisdel. Like many homosexuals who watch too much television, I will remember him fondly for his guest appearances that reliably made shows like Murder, She Wrote and Charlie’s Angels a little bit weirder, if only for a few moments at a time.

And, more than anything, I will treasure his unusual performance in A Smoky Mountain Christmas (1986), the Dolly Parton musical-fantasy classic directed by Henry Winkler. A film that defies both description and sobriety, you either understand its brilliance or you don’tit’s the El Topo of made-for-TV movies. Hopkins plays a role of some importance, that of a sheriff who jails Parton and is mixed up in a bad romance with a vengeful mountain witch (Anita Morris, whose wig is as sublime as her performance). If you’ve not yet seen it, you have a new weekend assignment.

In Thin Ice, Kate Jackson Romances Her Student

Screenshot of Gerard Prendergast and Kate Jackson in Thin Ice.
There’s probably more than one flagpole in this scene from Thin Ice.

Oh, the unexpected treasures that abound in Thin Ice, a strange little teacher-student romance that walked so A Night in Heaven (1983) could gyrate run. In this 1981 made-for-TV oddity you’ll look on, aghast, as Lillian Gish encourages her granddaughter, a high school teacher and Charlie’s Butchest Angel, to sleep with one of her students. You’ll stare in disbelief as a dead cat is placed on somebody’s doorstep, wearing a tiny bespoke noose. By the end, you’ll have no idea why anyone thought this was a good idea, but you may want to watch it again.

Pervy Shit Charlie Said to His Angels: Part 1

The Angels fight crime but tolerate sexual harassment in the workplace.

Recently, for reasons best left between me and the God of your choice (Bea Arthur works for me), I made a major life decision to watch all five seasons of Charlie’s Angels in its entirety. 

My familiarity with Angels was so scant that I had few expectations, but one thing I wasn’t prepared for was the grossness of Charlie himself. Okay, sure, the show’s reputation for having an “LOL, boners” sensibility preceded it (everyone’s heard of “jiggle TV”), but who would expect a speakerphone to be pervy?

Page 2 of 2

Powered by WordPress & Theme by Anders Norén