Cranky Lesbian

Look what the homosexuals have done to me!

Tag: Burt Reynolds

The Softer Side of Burt Reynolds

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On November 11, 2022

In Art

Apologies to anyone mildly frustrated by the wait for new content. I’m working on several reviews, including one of our first holiday-themed telefilm of the season. Progress is a little slower now than usual due to a health hiccup, but I expect to have something for you by Monday.

Longtime readers might recall I had a hard knot in my underarm over a year ago, and underwent several tests over a period of months lasting into this year. Nothing new and exciting was revealed, though there was talk of ceasing the Humira that I take for Crohn’s and arthritis, in case it was causing a reaction. Now the discomfort has intensified and spread. My doctor felt around and wants to take another look at it next week.

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Introducing the Review Index

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On March 24, 2022

In Housekeeping

Live footage of “Garbage Day!” guy taking a gander at this site.

While watching tennis earlier (it’s the opening days of the Miami Open), I created a new page that indexes all the reviews I’ve written under the Cranky Lesbian moniker. For this endeavor I created an accompanying graphic with the tagline “Garbage Day!”, a nod to one of the most ridiculous scenes in movie history. This perhaps cements that I’ll only ever write about trash here.

Just for kicks, when I was done with that I experimented with Canva and created this janky-looking graphic promoting a future post. Would it have looked better with tiny banjos on either side of the subheading? I was afraid of doing anything that might’ve made Burt and Loni look tacky.

Rent-a-Cop: Burt and Liza’s Forgotten Masterpiece

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On March 12, 2022

In Burt Reynolds

Burt and Liza are under attack by critics, and a crazed killer, in Rent-a-Cop.

The ’80s were a rough decade for Burt Reynolds and Liza Minnelli, with 1988 proving something of a nadir for them both. Not only was Rent-a-Cop a critical and commercial flop, Reynolds had a second bomb with Switching Channels less than two months later. Minnelli’s year was arguably more disastrous, resulting in a Worst Actress Razzie win for her work in Cop and Arthur 2: On the Rocks. All of this makes Rent-a-Cop sound somewhat better, and worse, than it actually is.

Before we get into the plot, let’s take a moment to remember a bit of ’80s movie trivia. Just weeks before Rent-a-Cop was given its ignominious January theatrical release, Nuts received a prestige December debut. Barbra Streisand played a hooker on trial for murder in that Martin Ritt film, an unsatisfying mess that nevertheless garnered a few Golden Globe nominations. I would argue that in the battle of prostitution movies starring non-competitive EGOT honorees, Minnelli made the more enjoyable picture.

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Weekend Viewing: Rent-a-Cop

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On February 18, 2022

In Weekend Viewing

“Hold me, Burt, I’m sho shcared!”

It’s been an annoying last couple of weeks around here with medical appointments, my dog’s tooth saga, and too much ice and snow. With any luck, things will calm down now and I can resume watching terrible movies like Rent-a-Cop.

The original plan had been to spotlight this atrocity on February 11th, the national holiday known as Burt Reynolds’s birthday. Other things came up and now the aim is to watch it, deeply ponder it (as you might an ancient philosophical text), and then write about it next month, when Liza Minnelli turns sheventy-shixsh.

As for my dog, Muriel’s tooth was extracted yesterday. Even as she periodically whimpers from mouth pain, she’s aggrieved at not being permitted to gnaw on chew toys. (Little does she know this torturous deprivation will last for the next couple weeks.) And, like Liza recovering from another hip replacement, or Burt in the wake of his City Heat jaw injury, she prefers her pain pills wrapped in American cheese or a hickory-smoked Greenies pocket.

UPDATE – 03.12.2022: The Rent-a-Cop post was published today, on Liza’s 76th birthday.

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