First of all, yes, “Man on the Land” is a MichFest reference. I’ve found MichFest amusing since learning of it as a teenager. But when I told my wife the name I’d selected for this feature, her eyes widened. “Yes!” she exclaimed. “I know it doesn’t work since they constantly dated men, but I always thought of the girls as living on a lesbian commune.”
At that, I stared at her like she was from another planet, as often happens when someone whose prized possession is a vintage Judy at Carnegie Hall poster takes a crunchy granola spouse. In her defense, she lived for years in Ithaca; if she sees more than three unrelated women standing together, she assumes they belong to a lesbian commune.
“Man on the Land” will be an episode-by-episode reference guide to the many men of The Golden Girls. This page will be updated periodically as more Friends of Dorothy Z. recaps are posted. Alerts won’t be sent each time it is edited, so remember to check back now and then.
Blanche’s new boyfriend, Harry (Frank Aletter), proposes after a whirlwind romance. He’s a no-show at the wedding, having been arrested for bigamy.
S1E02: “Guess Who’s Coming to the Wedding?”
Stanley Zbornak, Dorothy’s philandering ex-husband, is introduced when daughter Kate gets hitched and Dorothy grudgingly invites him to the wedding. Played by the marvelous Herb Edelman, Stan appeared in a total of 25 episodes, including the series finale.
Dennis (Dennis Drake), Kate’s new husband, is a mild-mannered podiatrist. The recast character appears again in a season-two episode, when Dorothy has a strong reaction to news of his infidelity.
Widower Arnie Peterson (Harold Gould) invites Rose on a cruise to the Bahamas and becomes the first man she’s slept with since Charlie’s death 15 years earlier. In season five, Gould returns in a new recurring role, that of Miles Webber, and is again paired with Betty White.
There are no male love interests in “Transplant,” which is about Blanche’s sister’s renal failure. However, the Hollingsworth girls find time to reminisce, and bicker, about a boy they once fought over.
Dorothy’s new romance with Dr. Elliot Clayton (Peter Hansen) hits a snag when Blanche rebuffs sexual overtures he denies making. Elliot is one of the more notable cads in Golden Girls history, causing a bitter rift between Dorothy and Blanche. His deception is finally revealed by a determined Rose.
There’s no time for romance in “On Golden Girls,” in which the girls look after Blanche’s troublemaking teenage grandson (Billy Jayne) while her daughter Janet tries to save a failing marriage. Of course, that doesn’t stop Blanche from hitting on a state trooper who brings the wayward boy home.
Sophia gets a visit from an old Sicilian beau, Augustine Bagatelli (Ralph Manza), who wants her to travel to Italy for the San Genarro festival, where they met 65 years prior. She tells the girls they were once engaged, but went off to war and didn’t return to her. “Sophia has a past,” Blanche teases, to which Sophia replies “That’s right, but unlike yours, I didn’t need penicillin to get through it.”
Fear gets the better of Rose following a burglary and she begins staying up all night with the new gun she barely knows how to use. We briefly meet Blanche’s date, Lester (Robert Rothwell), when Rose is startled by their late-night fumbling at the front door and recklessly opens fire in the dark, killing a Chinese vase but sparing a frightened Blanche and Lester, who quickly departs. It’s all we ever see of him; Rothwell also appears in Mary Tyler Moore’s Thanksgiving Day.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
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