Canadian lesbian — like there’s any other kind — Ashleigh Pechaluk loved her girlfriend Nicola Puddicombe so much that she practiced writing love letters to her that expressed warm and fuzzy (and trite) sentiments like “Baby, you are my angel…I want to enjoy my life, and the only way I can do that is if you’re by my side.”

But Puddicombe, who made similarly goopy declarations of love in a Valentine’s Day card she gave to Pechaluk three years ago, also had a long-term boyfriend. How, then, could Pechaluk enjoy life with Puddicombe at her side?

Why, by reinforcing every horribly offensive and antiquated lesbian stereotype known to man and murdering Puddicombe’s boyfriend with a $16.49 axe, of course! Pechaluk’s trial for the 2006 killing began this week, with Puddicombe’s soon to follow; Puddicombe stood to collect $250,000 in insurance and pension payouts in the event of her boyfriend’s death. Both women, it should go without saying, deserve to rot in jail.