The powers of perception that eluded Jean Smart in Change of Heart — in which she was stunned to learn her husband was gay — are on full display in Killer Instinct, another Lifetime movie. Here she plays Candice ‘Candy’ DeLong, the FBI’s first female profiler. We’re reminded, often and somewhat aggressively, of her occupation, which is good for some early laughs.
Nabbing a child abuser in an opening scene, she identifies her agency as “The F.B. friggin’ I.” When the unrepentant perp calls her a pig, she replies “That’s Miss Federal Pig to you!” Smart sports a soft butch hairdo, erratically styled so she resembles a soccer mom in one scene and a victim of accidental electrocution in the next. A white tank, black leather jacket and shades complete the look, establishing DeLong as an anti-Charlene Frazier.
Candy’s also been working an unsolved serial murder case involving the Chi-Town Strangler, whose moniker is self-explanatory. A methodical madman, the killer documents his work with carefully scrapbooked Polaroid pictures. His obsession with DeLong kicks into overdrive when, burdened with the usual detective-movie problems, she unofficially tenders her resignation.
“No, you won’t!” the Strangler vows when she announces her retirement in a televised press conference. He then breaks with his M.O. to attack her best friend, Kit (Joy Tanner), before stalking the divorced Candy and her child himself. Despite her many distractions, including a troubled affair with colleague Bobby Mazariegos (A Martinez), she quickly dials in on a suspect.
Dr. Rene Sutter (Robert Joy) is a genteel Southern fertility specialist whose patients die at alarming rates. Digging into their backgrounds, and his, DeLong finds reasons he might consider them unsuitable mothers. “Lupus — hereditary,” she says, pointing to a photo of one victim, before going down the line: “Married a black man, a big no-no. Lesbian. Unwed Hispanic teenager. There is something about every single one of these women that this uber-traditional sick sonofabitch doesn’t approve of.”
In defiance of mathematical probability (and common sense), DeLong’s superior Frank (a gruff Peter MacNeill) won’t allow her to seek a warrant. It is but one uniquely implausible development in a movie filled with them, though Frank’s negligence serves the purpose of lazily advancing what passes for a plot.
Killer Instinct, despite its aspirations, has less grit than dollar store cat litter. Smart is game and can play weary and sardonic with the best of them, but the screenplay leaves her adrift. This tale of a pioneering woman profiler taking on a murderous misogynist ends up paying as much attention to Candy’s cleavage as her achievements. It’s also short on suspense; the Chi-Town Strangler’s crimes (not to mention motivations) are roughly as cartoonish as those in Tori Spelling’s Mind Over Murder.
Streaming and DVD availability
You can purchase Killer Instinct on DVD or stream it on Tubi, a free (ad-supported) service.
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… But wait, there’s more!
Killer Instinct‘s full title is Killer Instinct: From the Files of Agent Candice DeLong. Is it merely a clunky title or does it hint at sequels never filmed? Lynn Mamet’s screenplay is inspired by the real DeLong’s memoir Special Agent: My Life on the Front Lines as a Woman in the FBI. These days you can find the retired DeLong hosting true crime shows and podcasts. I can’t vouch for the quality of any of those endeavors.
Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
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