“Why am I holding a large imaginary bowl during an interview?”

New Hampshire voters clearly haven’t forgiven Fred Thompson for his mistreatment of Roseanne Conner and her coworkers at Wellman Plastics. The actor and Republican presidential candidate received only 1% of the vote in the state’s primary on Tuesday.

While his Law & Order character famously denied harboring an anti-gay bias, Thompson is against gay marriage and told Fox News journalist Chris Wallace that he personally thinks civil unions are a bad idea, though he supports a state’s right to decide whether to allow them. His heartbreaking generosity in the “right to choose” arena does not extend to reproductive rights, naturally, because letting women decide what to do with their own bodies is crazy talk.