Pilot episodes are tricky endeavors, particularly for sitcom writers. In 1985, when The Golden Girls premiered, they had just under 25 minutes (these days it’s 22 on network television) in which to introduce characters, provide an appropriate amount of exposition, and make us laugh enough to tune in again the next week. The Golden Girls‘ pilot episode, “The Engagement” (S1E01), written by series creator Susan Harris, accomplishes all three of those goals in style.
Helmed by the legendary Jay Sandrich, who directed 119 episodes of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, “The Engagement” benefits from the long and laughter-filled relationships viewers already had with three-fourths of its cast. Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan and Betty White not only had a slew of hit series between them, McClanahan had famously costarred with White on Mama’s Family and with Arthur on Maude—their comedic chemistry already sizzled.
“The Engagement” isn’t immune to the problems of other pilots. Roles are sometimes recast or eliminated post-pilot, sets rearranged, backstories tweaked. You’ll notice the decor, particularly that of the kitchen, looks slightly different in subsequent episodes. Besides the addition of wallpaper and the subtraction of at least one painting, there’s a Hawaiian shirt-clad set decoration we never hear from again: Coco (Charles Levin), the flamboyant houseboy standing over the stove. (That he is hardly the stuff of La Cage aux Folles fantasies makes his conception slightly funnier.)
Coco was historically important in that few mid-’80s shows featured gay characters at all, much less right off the bat. But his rather broad characterization, and general narrative uselessness (appearing for mere seconds to shamelessly mug or awkwardly provide a sentence of two of exposition), made him completely disposable—particularly in contrast to Estelle Getty, an immediate audience favorite who was quickly promoted from guest star to series regular.
What’s striking about “The Engagement” is how polished it was even in this early stage of flux. The first few minutes are a bit rough, with Dorothy coming home from work and complaining to Coco about students with green hair, shaved heads and nose rings. “They’re expressing themselves,” he admonishes her. “Yeah. Well, I expressed myself,” Dorothy replies, pouring herself a glass of orange juice. “I told them they had to leave. They were too ugly to look at.” It’s not her finest rant.
Rose arrives next, exhausted from work. “What a day,” she sighs. “One sad person after another.” As Dorothy sharply reminds her, she’s a grief counselor: “What do you expect, comedians?” Then it’s Blanche’s turn to make an entrance, in a mink stole she ‘borrowed’ from Dorothy, who remarks, “It’s Miami in June. Only cats are wearing fur.” Blanche is primping for a date with her new boyfriend, Harry, and exits the kitchen after retrieving cucumber slices for her eyes, to reduce puffiness. (“Does it work on thighs?” Rose wonders.)
“Harry? Who is this Harry?” Dorothy asks Rose, who replies “All Blanche said was he still has his own teeth and hair.” Dorothy segues into a riff that would’ve worked in her standup set: “Oh, it is wonderful dating in Miami. All the single men under 80 are cocaine smugglers.” As they commiserate about aging, Blanche reappears to gush about Harry. “Oh, girls, he’s just wonderful. He’s very gallant, he’s a perfect gentleman, he’s a great dancer. And he doesn’t make noise when he chews.”
Dorothy isn’t sure his chewing abilities are a compelling quality, but Blanche continues to highlight his strengths. “He doesn’t talk loud at the movies,” she notes. “Doesn’t take his own pulse, and he’s still interested.” (Naturally, Rose asks “In what?”) “And he proposed,” Blanche adds as she sashays into the living room for maximum dramatic effect. He wants an answer that night and she’s uncertain how she’ll respond. She’s afraid of losing him, but they’ve only known each other for a week.
It’s not the most believable plot, particularly for a character like Blanche who revels in her endless romantic options. But we don’t yet know that about her, so her dilemma serves as an adequate setup for establishing the deep bond the roommates share. If she accepts the proposal, Dorothy and Rose, as her boarders, will have to live with the consequences, which frightens Rose more than Dorothy. “What if she marries him?” she frets. “What’ll happen to us? This house is hers.”
Dorothy matter-of-factly says they’d move. “We can’t afford to buy a house,” Rose argues. “What do we have for collateral? A gay cook?” (Perhaps that explains Coco’s sudden departure—they traded him in for something else.) In the midst of this excitement, Sophia arrives with a paper bag full of her belongings. There’s been a fire at Shady Pines. The residents of the nursing home are fine, but for now she needs a place to stay, and for Dorothy to pay her cab fare.
Sophia’s appearance changes slightly between the pilot and second episodes, improved by adjustments to her wig and makeup. Left undisturbed is her enthusiasm for offensive one-liners. She hits both racist and homophobic notes early and often in “The Engagement,” referring to Coco as “the fancy man” and “an OK petunia.” The jokes about her cab driver are also tedious, though the audience laughed appreciatively.
SOPHIA: I need $67 for the cab.
DOROTHY: $67? Ma, Ma, this is crazy. The home is 15 minutes from here.
SOPHIA: My cab driver is Cuban. He said there was an additional tax for a bilingual driver.
[Dorothy returns from settling the tab]
DOROTHY: Ma, Ma, the cab driver said you promised him a $67 tip!
SOPHIA: Don’t be silly. I said a six, seven dollar tip. Why don’t these people learn English if they’re gonna live here? This is Miami. I’d have less trouble getting around Ecuador.
Sophia’s behavior is explained, and excused, in an exchange between an amused Blanche (who Sophia had just likened to a prostitute) and an offended Rose.
ROSE: The way she talks!
BLANCHE: She can’t help it.
ROSE: I’ve known plenty of women who have had strokes. Some of them were in very bad shape, but they’re still ladies.
BLANCHE: But, Rose, this stroke destroyed the part of her brain that censors what she says. So she just says whatever she thinks. She can’t help it.
After Harry’s introduced to the girls, he and Blanche depart (prompting Sophia to presciently pronounce him a “scuzzball”), while Rose resumes her worrying. It’s not just about the fear of losing the roof over her head. What concerns her the most is losing the built-in family her treasured housemates provide.
ROSE: This is so sad. We were all so lonely and then by a miracle we found each other.
DOROTHY: Rose, we both answered an ad to share Blanche’s house that we found in the supermarket. It was not the resurrection. It is hardly a miracle.
ROSE: To me it was a miracle because we’re happy. It’s not fair, you know. I mean, we get married, we have kids, the kids leave, and our husbands die. Is that some kind of a test? You don’t work that hard, you don’t go through everything you go through to be left alone. We are alone, Dorothy, we really are. Our families are gone and we’re alone. And there are too many years left, and I don’t know what to do.
As Rose predicted, Blanche accepts Harry’s proposal. He rushes the wedding, which will take place at the house. On the big day, Rose confides to Dorothy that she’s suspicious of Harry but doesn’t know why. She says she owes it to Blanche as her friend to warn her against marrying him. Dorothy strong-arms her into silence moments before the ceremony’s slated to begin, but Harry’s a no-show.
As the busy priest prepares to leave, the doorbell rings. A police officer (played by Meshach Taylor of Designing Women, which premiered the next year) brings news of Harry’s arrest. “He’s a bigamist, ma’am; he’s wanted in four states. He’s got six wives. You got yourself mixed up with a real hustler. I’m sorry.” Blanche feels devastated and humiliated. “Oh, I feel like such an old fool,” she tells the girls. “Not just a fool, but an old fool. My God, I just wanna die.”
For three weeks afterward, she sits in her room. As Dorothy, Rose and Sophia discuss grief on the lanai, Blanche reemerges. “I’m OK,” she assures them. “I really am. No, at first I wanted to give up, to die, truly. Only time I ever felt worse was when George died. But then I had the kids with me and I pulled through it. This time I thought, ‘Well, this is my last chance, my last hope for happiness.’ I just thought I’d never feel good again.” It was the girls that pulled her through. “You’re my family, and you make me happy to be alive,” she tells them, and they embrace.
It’s a heckuva pilot, alternately funny and tender; the characters already feel like family. Rue McClanahan looks especially lovely and gives a moving performance. Sure, the more acquainted we become with Blanche’s sordid personal life, the harder it is to believe she would’ve considered Harry irreplaceable. But she was also stubborn and impulsive, so her choice wasn’t completely out of character. For their part, Dorothy, Rose and Sophia are largely true to form from the beginning, though “The Engagement” lacks anecdotes about St. Olaf or Sicily.
Coco, meanwhile, is the piece of the puzzle that doesn’t quite fit. He’s a character who sticks out like a sore thumb while serving no appreciable purpose, and it’s somewhat surprising he wasn’t edited out of the pilot entirely. We can speculate about what groundbreaking (or mortifying) things might’ve happened if The Golden Girls had retained its gay houseboy. Would there have been episodes about his romantic life and personal struggles? How many homophobic jokes would have been cracked at his expensive? Other mincing stereotypes appeared in the course of the series. Fortunately, more nuanced portrayals of gay characters eventually came to us in the forms of Jean and Clayton.
Introduction: Thank You for Being a Friend
Next episode: “Guess Who’s Coming to the Wedding?” (S1E02)
Where to watch
All seven seasons of The Golden Girls are available on DVD. You can also stream it at Hulu and Fubo with subscriptions, or buy it by the season (or episode) on platforms like Amazon and YouTube.
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Cranky Lesbian is a disgruntled homosexual with too much time on her hands. Click for film reviews or to follow on Instagram.
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