Cranky Lesbian

Look what the homosexuals have done to me!

Category: Politics

Jacqui Smith and Contradictions, Plus Wimbledon Grumbling

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On June 28, 2008

In Politics

“Who are you calling a dyke?”

Remember that ludicrous Jacqui Smith business from earlier this week, when the Home Secretary of the United Kingdom was stupid enough to suggest that Iran is safe for homosexuals? All they have to do, she more or less advised, is spend their lives hiding in the closet. Then they won’t have to worry about being hanged or seeking asylum in the UK.

Well, Smith is again commenting on homophobia, only this time it’s the kind that happens on her own soil. A Stonewall-commissioned report released on Thursday found that one in five gay, lesbian and bisexual people in Britain have been a victim of some kind of hate crime or homophobic incident since 2005, and that 3/4ths of them declined to file police reports about it.

The results of this poll have been called shocking, but I was immediately reminded of another survey about gay Brits, and have to say that if you’re not willing to divulge your sexuality to a random census-taker, chances are you’re not going to walk into a police station and say you were just assaulted or verbally harassed for being gay. (You could argue that it isn’t a fair correlation to make, as the Stonewall report obviously used self-identified gays and lesbians as their sample group; additionally, respondents cited perceived police indifference as a reason for not filing reports. But I think that taken together, the results of the surveys indicate a sizable percentage of gay men and women in the UK don’t feel as comfortable standing up for themselves as they should.)

Curiously, given Smith’s own indifference towards gays in Iran, she responded to the report swiftly and decisively, stating:

“In the 21st century no one in Britain should ever feel under threat of verbal or physical violence just because of their sexual orientation.

“We’re determined that lesbian and gay people should have the confidence to report crimes to the police knowing that they will be taken seriously, the crime investigated and their privacy respected.

“Our key priorities are to increase reporting; increase offences brought to justice and to tackle repeat victimisation and hotspots.”

All sentiments that are very nice and proper, but how about extending that sense of justice to people who are in danger of being executed because of their sexuality?

And while I’m complaining…

This is admittedly shallow — inappropriate, some might say, given the seriousness of the subject matter we just dealt with — but why does it seem as though ESPN and NBC, in their coverage of Wimbledon, conspired to keep me from staring at Dinara Safina’s arms? She’s out of the tournament now, having been ousted by Israel’s Shahar Peer in a close three-setter earlier today, and what did NBC show instead? A Venus Williams match that’s result was old news.

I’m demanding better treatment next year. You hear that, you programming bastards? I’m like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction: I will not be ignored. I don’t care if Americans played earlier in the day, I want live tennis. Live! If you do not meet my demands, I will not watch the rest of your network’s offerings. And if I’m already giving your shows the cold shoulder (sorry, NBC, but you know you suck), well … I don’t know. I’m sure I’ll come up with better threats over the coming months.

Iran is for (Discreet) Lovers, and Other Bullshit

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On June 23, 2008

In Politics

“I loved your work in Top Gun.“

According to the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, women in the Army and Air Force are being kicked out in record numbers under “don’t ask, don’t tell.” From the Times:

While women make up 14 percent of Army personnel, 46 percent of those discharged under the policy last year were women. And while 20 percent of Air Force personnel are women, 49 percent of its discharges under the policy last year were women.

As Aubrey Sarvis, the executive director of the SLDN, notes, “Women make up 15 percent of the armed forces, so to find they represent nearly 50 percent of Army and Air Force discharges under ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ is shocking.”

The Pentagon hasn’t offered an explanation for the increase in discharges of lesbian military personnel, but I have to wonder: could this be the start of the Tasha effect?

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Joe Eszterhas Supports John McCain

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On February 5, 2008

In Politics

“We’re voting Versace.”

Does this mean the beloved hack screenwriter doesn’t support Cristal and Nomi’s right to marry? The news, while not surprising (Eszterhas contributed to McCain’s campaign in 2000), is almost as disillusioning as the failure of film critics to recognize Jade as one of the towering achievements in 1995 cinema, alongside Dead Man Walking, Leaving Las Vegas and Kieslowski’s Trois Couleurs: Rouge. Or something.

And before someone emails me to point out that McCain once referred to a constitutional amendment that would ban gay marriage as “unnecessary” and “un-Republican,” let me remind you that he happily supported banning gay marriage in his home state of Arizona the very next year. In short, he is more ethically challenged than your average Eszterhas character. They make a fine pair.

In Praise of People Who Criticize Chris Matthews

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On January 10, 2008

In Politics

“This Matthews guy is driving me crazy!”

If you’re familiar with Chris Matthews and his MSNBC show Hardball, you already know he’s kind of a jerk. He’s done little to hide it, what with all the tongue baths he has given the Bush administration over the years and his frequent swipes at Bill and Hillary Clinton.

You might have also noticed his tendency to lose interest in interview subjects who resist coaching, or the way he spits (sometimes literally, which might explain why so many of his guests appear via satellite) questions at his panel in a tone that suggests he cares less about their answers than about making his own not-so-subtle points with what he asks them. It is also hinted at in the way he sometimes says the word “gay” like he’s saying “date rape” or “chlamydia,” but that’s a post for another day.

His agenda-pushing was certainly on full display during his Iowa caucus coverage, in the language he used to describe Barack Obama. And for the last several weeks, it has been completely unavoidable when he talks about Hillary Rodham Clinton. Matthews attacks her so frequently, so viciously, with such unabashed glee, that it almost makes you wonder if his hatred isn’t hiding something deeper. Something private. Very private.

Fine, I’ll come right out and say it. What if his invective is a decoy, partly borne of subconscious self-sabotage, that must be deployed with increased frequency as he desperately struggles to smother an illicit and all-consuming sexual passion for a powerful and unattainable woman? Seriously, consider the language he uses when he talks about Clinton possibly defeating Obama and tell me he hasn’t dreamed of the senator from New York showing up at his dressing room with a riding crop in hand, ready to punish him for all the negative things he has said about her.

That is why I was thrilled to wake up this morning and see that Matthews, in the wake of Hillary’s New Hampshire victory, is being called on his boorish, unprofessional behavior. And not just in sloppily written, ultimately meaningless blurbs by jackasses like me. If you haven’t already, you might want to check out:

Is This Because I’m Unqualified?

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On January 9, 2008

In Politics

“Why am I holding a large imaginary bowl during an interview?”

New Hampshire voters clearly haven’t forgiven Fred Thompson for his mistreatment of Roseanne Conner and her coworkers at Wellman Plastics. The actor and Republican presidential candidate received only 1% of the vote in the state’s primary on Tuesday.

While his Law & Order character famously denied harboring an anti-gay bias, Thompson is against gay marriage and told Fox News journalist Chris Wallace that he personally thinks civil unions are a bad idea, though he supports a state’s right to decide whether to allow them. His heartbreaking generosity in the “right to choose” arena does not extend to reproductive rights, naturally, because letting women decide what to do with their own bodies is crazy talk.

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