Have you ever wondered why there are often ads for find-a-sperm-donor services on this, a website that has nothing to do with wanting, having or raising babies? (Not that I have anything against babies. They’re cute and some of them have a weird way of looking like tiny little elderly people that I find amusing, but they also baffle me. In a lot of ways, they’re like women: I have no idea why they’re crying, and they’ve been known to unexpectedly throw up on me.)

It’s a question that’s been weighing on my mind since earlier this afternoon, when I glanced at my post about A Secret to make sure I hadn’t made any glaring typographical mistakes and noticed an advertisement beneath it that said “Find a Sperm Donor Today — Serving Lesbian Couples & Singles.”

I ask you, women and queens who read this, how effective can these ads really be? What are the odds that someone who comes here to read about Daphne is going to glance down at the screen, see that kind of banner, and think to herself “What a great idea! I hadn’t planned on having a baby — I’d only wanted to know if this movie was worth renting—but now I know where my tax refund is going!” Really, if the idea is to target ads to a particular demographic, I think they’d be better off hocking Mommie Dearest DVDs and curling brooms here (yes, Canadian readers, I see you out there), but that’s just a hunch.